Sunbeams
by mangospoons
Summary: Someday Hinata would know what it was like to run that hair through her fingers, liquid gold. Sunbeams - A continuation of Moonstruck. Drabbles of Naru/Hina Based on the DA 100 Themes
1. Grape Juice

Disc: I do not own any of the characters, for they belong to the genius of Masashi Kishimoto.

**A companion piece to my fic, Moonstruck.  
Naruto and Hinata. **

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**Sunbeams**

39 - Wrong

_Sum:_ Her best interest was at heart.

Hinata's skin had betrayed her. It had ripped itself open and shown all her mushy insides.

Not literally of course, but metaphorically enough so that she wanted to curl up into a hole.

She'd never felt so naked, standing there in front of Kiba Inuzuka and Shino Aburame as they bore their eyes into her body, plainly ogling her as though they really couldn't believe it. It was strange considering she was actually wearing a rather bulky piece of attire at the moment.

"It's...it's just..." She said pulling the edges of the offensive clothing closer around her. The shoulders drooped over her own and she hadn't bothered to stick her arms in the sleeves; rather, she was probably a bit too afraid for that. She was wearing an old t-shirt with a trademark swirl and a very familiar orange and black jacket.

Yes. Definitely. She was sure if she made any kind of movement to actually _put_ _on_ the jacket Kiba would have a conniption. His eyes were wide as he stared at her, as though he might just seize up at any moment.

Shino looked suspicious, and when Shino was _obviously_ suspicious you knew there was a problem.

"Hinata..." Kiba started slowly, staring at the girl who's hair was fly-away, whose face was pink and whose eyes were almost as wide as his own. He raised his tan hand towards the seventeen year old girl with apprehension, as though he didn't really want to know the answer.

"Hinata...where is your shirt?" Hinata went apple red and stared at her feet.

"Well, you see, it got...and I...and Naruto and...well...it...was..." Shino felt himself sigh internally, but the rigid stance he held did not relent just because Hinata was embarrassed, on the contrary.

His whole mood seemed to darken because with her stuttering came the unpleasant feeling that she had _done_ something with that _boy_.

Based on Kiba's finger still dangling unsurely in the air, eyes hazed and dull, he'd probably realize any second that the trigger to his basic instinct to fulfill his earlier promise of 'IF HE PUTS ONE GRUBBY FINGER ON HER PERSON I WILL SERIOUSLY EAT HIM. SERIOUSLY!' was about to be switched. Shino believed him; Naruto was as good as processed dog food. Seriously.

They were standing on the street outside of Naruto's apartment where they'd passed on their way to an older, less crowded training ground. Hinata had only recently been allowed out of the house, but it seemed every moment since her accident had been spent by a certain guilty and rather dizzy Naruto Uzumaki.

Shino wasn't saying he didn't like Naruto. He admired him, gave him his due credit, but Hinata was something else. This was Hinata. He supported her, loved her like a little sister and had silently vowed to be her constant caretaker after the shock at seeing her body so marred by blood he had to be _told _it was her.

Sure, by caretaker he meant unseen; a black dot on her clothing perhaps, but constant always, although this moment now was pure, shocking coincidence.

He'd sworn he'd never see Kiba look like _that _again. The boy he knew so well hadn't cried that way since they were young.

He'd never see her lie so motionless again. He'd never feel the lead in his stomach thinking that maybe, just maybe, he might lose his cool this time.

So, he'd said whatever equaled problem in Hinata's life would equal danger. He would eliminate the danger, although, even Shino had moments when his protective nature went a little _too _far. But then again, what was being a silent, shadowy, mysterious genius if you didn't have a little fun with being ignored? So it came as no surprise as Shino looked upon his best friend for a second time and gave him nothing but a small, simple push in the proper direction.

"Kiba." He said softly, and the poor, still horribly unsure, dog-boy looked his way pathetically.

"Yes?"

"She was _in_ his apartment. Her shirt is still _in_ his apartment." He turned his head slightly, "Do you understand what that _entails_, Kiba?" Kiba's brain seemed to turn slowly in his skull, the little mouse on the treadmill slowing to a swinging stop as it stared ahead, head cocked.

Shino rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"What do you think Naruto was _in_ Kiba, based on the information present?" He turned to the girl standing in front of the complex's beat-up doors watching them both with anxiety.

"His...apartment?" Kiba said and Shino blinked unseen.

"Who else was in his apartment, Kiba?"

"...Hinata?"

"Now, if Hinata's shirt was in the apartment, and Naruto was in the apartment, is the following statement true or false given your ninja tactics and logic at divulging information based on this given situation:"

Kiba looked perplexed and Shino took a breath, controlling his tone to a neutral drone that left Kiba looking puzzled. Shino had a real talent for confusing him when he wanted to.

"Naruto was _in_ Hinata's shirt." The little mouth twitched and visibly it came out as a spasm of Kiba's right eye.

"Naruto...was _in..._Hinata's..." Shino watched in silent satisfaction as Kiba processed the mental image and with a final snap his face turned a dangerous shade of purple. Hinata, having watched the whole thing, instantly flung herself forward in distress.

"KIBA! SHINO STOP IT! THAT ISN'T TRUE! KIBA IT'S FALSE THE ANSWER IS FALSE!"

"Hey, Hina-chan, here's your shirt; you left it on my bed after you took it off!"

The following transaction was often displayed as legendary, and many poor bystanders said it took on the look of snapshots of a horrible trauma as Kiba Inuzuka leapt on the future Hokage of Konoha with enough ferocity it appeared he might in fact devour his face, given the chance.

What ensued left Hinata gaping, Naruto bruised and a bit worse-for-wear and a certain grape-juice stained shirt fluttering pitifully in the wind.

And only Shino smiled, knowing he'd been wrong.

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**Kiba and Shino are my favorite people to write for. I often think Shino likes to be a little conniving sometimes to get back at Naruto and Kiba can just be so adorably naiive until he finally gets it and then...well, he eats face. SERIOUSLY.**

**xoxo,**  
**Spoons**


	2. Dress Up

**This is a random one, I have nothing to do because I have strep throat D: **

**The next one I write will not suck as much, still, I hope you find it funny ^-^ **

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

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**Sunbeams**

94 - Tradition

_Sum: _It didn't take long for Hiashi to lose his credibility, or for Neji to lose control of his fist as it collided with Naruto's for calling him a girl.

"It's not like I can do anything about it, Naruto." Hinata said softly, fussing with the obi on her kimono.

"Why couldn't I just wear, you know, my normal clothes?" Hinata sighed and looked at the young man in front of her with a smidgen of hopelessness. He was standing there, looking quite irritated in his attire, and she could almost feel the discomfort radiating off of him with each passing moment.

"Seriously Hinata. THIS? Really?" He continued, picking up the edge of the multi-layered robes and long tassles drooping from the pin at his neckline. Hinata blinked. It did look a little ridiculous.

"Everyone has to wear them Naruto, it's not my idea. It's just how it is." She said simply, giving her own belt one last final pat before slippping her toes into the sandals near her feet. Naruto had only appeared a few moments ago, escorted by a very sour-faced servant.

Convincing Naruto to even _attend _the Hyuga New Year was a task within itself seeing as he'd been already invited to go out with Shikamaru and Chouji to the all-night special down at the BBQ restaraunt. Hinata had almost been sad; she hadn't been invited to a New Year party since her academy days when Sakura had extended the offer, only to be politely refused for the sake of her family's serious, yet somehow routine celebrations.

But her Father had _insisted_. And when Hiashi insisted, it was more of a demand, and you never fell short with Hiashi. Still, Hinata had found it strange. It had only been half a year, but it seemed she and Naruto had already become _something_, as dysfunctional and strange and hard to explain as that something was.

It had started out an accident, but then it became purposeful because there was something that lingered under the surface of their relationship that made people confused.

Neither of them could tell you which way was up about it, just that it had fallen into place like some kind of fated, awkward destiny.

Still, forever was still a long time off, and they were definitely not an item, but more like closer friends that could be trusted with such things as family gatherings or grocery shopping when Naruto couldn't find the time, therefore being entrusted with a spare key to his apartment. That was another odd compulsion; Hinata, for reasons unknown, was constantly concerned about how much he was eating, or if he was going to fast or training too much.

She'd never tell him, but she worried silently from time to time, and so it became something of small happiness when she was thanked for the full pantry when he got home from a mission.

So he was attending the banquet and Hinata was feeling helplessly tired of the whole thing, and now, standing there and looking ridiculous, Naruto was already starting to get unhappy with the whole _idea_, and for once was not cautious in showing his dislike to her.

'Probably because Father doesn't hide his dislike of Naruto' Hinata thought silently, thinking of the underhanded comments they'd passed the few times they had met in actual person. But then again, Naruto was never exactly discrete about his feelings of people he didn't exactly care for.

"Naruto, you don't have to go." She said finally, moving past him towards the door, "I wouldn't blame you. It won't be much fun unless they start drinking; then we could probably get out early." She stated matter-of-factly. Naruto looked guilty for a moment and moved to follow her.

"Well, it's not that I don't want to go with you, but you know, what's the point? I mean, I've never really had a formal family, so I guess I just don't get why everyone has to be so freakin' serious all the time about stupid parties." Hinata looked at Naruto and attempted to convey the reasoning, or at least find a point.

"Well...I know you don't get understand, but..." She started, before immediately regretting it, hand lingering on the door. Naruto looked at her quizzically.

"What?" She looked helplessly at the door.

"It's...well, it's just, it's like it happens every year, it's automatic. It's not that we're...well, serious about it, but you just _do_it. The same way Neji-nee has to wear the robes, just as my Father has to wear his robes, just as I have to do the wine ceremony, it's just ingrained in us I guess." Naruto cocked an eyebrow.

"You mean, _Neji _has to wear this?"He gestured to the horribly complicated and embellished ensemble he was wearing and Hinata nodded innocently.

"Only, his is even more elaborate because he's an actual family member, but my Father has the most elaborate I suppose. He can barely walk in it." Naruto looked at Hinata and a small smile pulled at his mouth.

"Your _Dad _will be wearing this?" Hinata looked unsure, and plucked at her own kimono.

"Eh...well, of course, it's the way it is. He has to wear this big hat too, and he braids his hair..." She started, trying to describe the sight of her Father in his New Year's gowns, and having difficulty.

"He braids his hair?" Naruto said, now grinning. Hinata blushed.

"Well...Hyuga men take there hair very seriously...it's like, an old status thing...only now its not very popular, but Neji and my Father and a lot of the other main house members still do it..."

"Oh Hinata, that is rich. I thought this was going to be boring as hell, but now, I wouldn't trade anything for the sight of your Dad in a dress."

Hinata smiled insecurely, but then she found herself giggling as she thought about it.

Sure she was a Hyuga, sure she was supposed to be stoic, but the whole premise was sort of...funny. And to be quite honest, she'd never thought of it that way, but it almost seemed like Neji and her Father were in fact wearing dresses.

Hinata just kept chuckling to herself silently as she motioned for Naruto to follow.

For now, she'd let Naruto decide for himself whether or not seeing her cousin in ceremonial make up was worth the sake of tradition.

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**This chapter was totally inspired by Fruits Basket, and the idea of Yuki doing that "beautiful dance 3 years ago!" as Shigure humbly put it. Lol. Neji in make up.**


	3. End Results

**I don't own Naruto.**

**(If you haven't noticed, I pretty much update as soon as I write, which is a lot)**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

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**Sunbeams**

32 - Smile

_Sum: _Naruto's compassion would be the death of him.

"Naruto?"

Silence.

"Naruto...please...talk to me." Hinata touched the the boy's motionless shoulder, blue eyes unseeing.

"Don't touch me." He whispered and Hinata instantly recoiled.

He put his hand on his face, disbelieving.

"Did you see? The way...the way he looked at me?" Hinata put her hands over her chest, aching to be near him.

His hands slid up to his hair, raking through the spikes; his clothes were torn up and muddy, his face cut in multiple places.

"N-Naruto..."

"BASTARD!" He screamed, throwing his fist against the wall, plaster chipping away. Hinata felt herself stumble backwards as Naruto dissolved onto the floor, falling with the bits of sheet rock.

"N-Naruto." She whispered, kneeling beside him in the center of the room.

She wrapped her arms around him.

Naruto sobbed into her shoulder.

When Sasuke came home...Naruto always imagined he'd smile.

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**No. I don't think Sasuke is dead.**

**But I do think Naruto has this image of Sasuke that he believes will always be valid, but if he ever is brought back, I think he's going to have to painfully come to terms that what's happened to Sasuke may never allow him to be brought back to where he was before.**


	4. Time Out

**The following takes place during Naruto and Hinata's first apartment together...they're probably 20 or so. :]**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

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**Sunbeams**

1 - Chores

_Sum: _Perhaps it was the lack of them that made him love her.

Once, Naruto was asked by a friend if he'd ever miss being in the field if he became Hokage, and Naruto, being Naruto, told him that being in an office all day surpassed any week of cold or rainy missions, any food ration bar, or any cut or bruise, no matter how noble the process of the injury was.

He "would be glad to rest his feet".

At the time, it was the answer; for a very long time it had been the answer. It was all he had ever intended of himself.

But there was a time when Naruto wouldn't have traded a mission for the world because it meant he got to go home to her.

He always went as quietly as possible. He never took to windows like Kakashi.  
He always used the front door. (She didn't like the drafts, plus he was quite positive that she would most likely mistake him if he had pulled a stunt like that.)

He always took his boots off first. (There was that one occasion with the new carpet. How mud got on the ceiling even Naruto couldn't tell you.)

He always walked into darkness. (She didn't like leaving lights on because she couldn't sleep that way if she slept at all while he was gone.)

Naruto always had to watch where he stepped.

There would most likely be things on the floor; take out boxes on the coffee table.

(Cooking seemed silly to her if he wasn't there to eat it.)

There would be clothes on the kitchen table, (laundry another task that seemed pointless if it was only hers), and she'd abandon it halfway through, most of his clothes drooping off the sides and onto the floor.

Dishes would be piled in the sink. (He could almost see her, putting them down, flustered and frustrated, after her concentration waned.)

That little novelty frog clock she'd bought to christen the apartment theirs would be ticking on the windowsill, where it would always belong, showing off the odd hours of the night.

He'd shed his armor and his shirt and in the kitchen, the smell of blood still hot in the threads. It didn't bother him much anymore. (But she always ran her fingers over the stains, and he'd watch her out of the corner of his eye as she worried them with her hands.)

He'd smile in the bathroom at the scattered candles set on the side of the tub (She always tried to relax. To enjoy the absence of his loud company.), or the new impulsive polaroids taped to the mirror. (She always thought of him, she had to take the pictures. What if she couldn't remember a moment when he got home?)

He smirks and fingers a corner of one of them: Ino's twentieth birthday party.

Sakura looks drunk and happy.

He doesn't feel bad. (She'll tell him all about it, in so much detail it's like he was there.)

He'll notice the candle wicks haven't been lit. (She probably just resorted to taking a shower, what with her hair getting so long.)

He'll walk out of the bathroom, finally clean and let the sliver of light from the bathroom door shed itself onto their small bedroom.

She'll have a million excuses in the morning, he's sure, to why nothing's done, why she couldn't do it, but he'll just smile. Or maybe, maybe he'll kiss her.

Naruto once swore he'd give it up in a heartbeat.

He comes home starving, cold and dirty as hell. He reeks of death sometimes.

But how else will he ever get to come home to Hinata, thrown over the bed, book still in her hands, shirt still on, in a pair of sweats?

How will he come home to his oldest t-shirt curled under her chin, pressed against the side of her face?

He'd give up Hokage.

He'd give up Hokage for chores, and Hinata in the middle of the night.

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**^-^**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	5. Potting Soil

**I really like Sora...if he keeps being adorable, I may just get attached!**

**For those of you who haven't read Moonstruck, this chapter may be weird for you, and for those who have, Naruto isn't Hokage yet ^-^**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

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**Sunbeams**

21 - Grow

_Sum: _Sometimes all you need is a little sunlight.

Sora didn't try to be bad; it fell out of him, these ornery behaviors. He didn't know what else to do with himself except act out. He'd been in a very dark, cramped world, for a long time, long enough that a boy like himself spent most days throwing him against the walls. And yet, to his intense frustration, he never grew an inch.

He stayed small, still a child, still useless and not able to do what he wanted.

His body was a foreign vessel, and often he felt blind to its potential, and even more often betrayed by its clumsiness and unwillingness to work. He'd never stretched his legs, or seen himself in the sunlight. What else was there to know in darkness and small spaces where he bumped against the walls?

He shared a house with such a tangle of other boys and girls that he couldn't tell where they began and he ended and that's when he took to throwing himself against the cages, rattling the bars, clawing a the exits.

But he didn't know any better. He thought those walls were only extensions of him, limits his body couldn't overcome, it was so dark and cramped.

He met the lady on a shady day in the market square when he should have been at school, but he didn't do so well there. He didn't know how to talk to his teacher or the other kids except to yell. How could they hear him otherwise? He was separated by heavy iron.

He could see them, but they couldn't see through the thick metal of his walls, even though he threw himself against it with frightening clangs and clatters of the steel curtains between him and them. He just wanted to be big. He wanted to break out and be free and be a man. He hated being twelve and stupid and useless.

He just wanted for someone to see that he was ok. That he could do things for others.

He was sick of being a child.

The lady had been wearing white, and her hair was the color of glossy black bird feathers and it glittered like them too and she was smiling so nicely at him.

"Would you like me to buy you one?" She'd asked as his hungry eyes had drank in the summer produce, glossy plums and peaches and summer squash at the produce stall. Fat strawberries and hot chile powder in sacks on the table nearby. He'd stared at her for the longest time and that pretty smile.

He'd held out his hand and she'd put a coin on the counter and put the peach in his palm. She'd hesitated though.

"Only if you help me with my bag though, alright?" He nodded.

"Sure."

He would have taken it. He would have stolen it right from under her pretty nose. The money too. Snatched from the counter in a second.

He'd done it before.

"What's your name?"

"Sora."

"What a pretty name!" She'd said happily, walking to the next stall. He followed her, holding the bag in his hands. She was so bright. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She was the moon in the sky, the good quiet, the good darkness. He reminded him of his mother.

But he doesn't remember her very well anymore.

"What weather! It's so gloomy!" The shop-keeper said holding out her change at one stop along the street. She only laughed and Sora kept the peach and the bag in his hands, still uneaten, still unrifled through. He could have gone through it. Filled his pockets. Her wallet was in there, he'd seen.

"Not as gloomy as my home!" She'd exclaimed, putting her purchases into the bag in his hands. The woman tending the stall nodded.

"Hai! Everyone misses your dear Husband when he's away!" She waved at the lady, and then turned to him.

"Such a nice young man! Please come again!" Sora didn't know what to say, but waved feebly back. Didn't she know he was a "bad kid"?

He'd never been called 'nice' before. It must have been her.

They came to the end of the road and Sora held the peach in his hands carefully; he'd save it for later, after dinner or something.

"If you ever want to help me with groceries again, Sora-kun, I'd be glad for the company! You were a very good help!" He looked up suddenly.

"Oh…" He said, and the blush scattered across his cheeks.

"Thanks…for the fruit…" He muttered and the lady laughed.

"Maybe next time my husband will come along…he's out of town at the moment. He'd like you very much…in fact you remind me of him!" Sora blinked at the lady who smiled so nicely at him and put the peach in his pocket.

"Ok." He said and the woman nodded in accord, not put off by his childish embarrassment.  
"Bye Sora-kun!" Sora felt the fruit sink into his pocket.

Everyone is gloomy when you're dear Husband is away…

"Hey! What's your Husband like! Cause if he's a loser, then I don't want him to come!" Sora shouted and the woman with indigo hair looked back and smiled.

"He's a lot like the sun! Sometimes he's too much, but things just come to life when he's around!"

Sora didn't see her again, but he looked for her when he skipped out on school, but even then he tried not to do that so much.

He didn't want to disappoint her. He didn't want her to think her fruit had gone for nothing.

The day he met his new sensei thought of her. He thought of her when he saw his sensei with wild yellow hair and a large grin and tan skin and those weird whiskers.

Sensei told them all that they were 'somebody'.  
Sora told his sensei he was 'an idiot'.

The man just smiled and laughed and said "probably."

And then he asked him to come to dinner at his house and Sora refused.  
He refused for weeks and weeks, but it was starting to get hot inside his cage, like sunlight was leaking under the edges of the doors. It was getting even more cramped. His knees were bumping the doorways, his head was hitting the walls.

It smelled heavily of peaches and nice words and ladies with indigo hair. He wanted to see her again. Hear her ask him if he wanted to maybe hold her bag like last time. He'd say yes.

He wanted to follow her around and he wanted to go home to her house and have her cook him whatever she was making with all that stuff she bought. She wanted to see this husband, because he was a fool for leaving her ever and he'd tell him so. She'd tell him she was _somebody_. Sensei _had_ told him that after all. He was good for some stuff.

But he couldn't see her because he was always away, or training, or with Sensei. And his cage kept getting hotter and hotter, and he was hungry all the time for something he didn't know, and his head kept hitting the ceiling. Months went on.

Sensei told them about life lessons and people that he loved. The other two hung onto every word but Sora could only think of one. She had long hair and a pretty, pretty smile, and if her husband was the sun, then she was probably the moon.

But sensei was "probably" an idiot, and when he enlisted Sora's help for has anniversary, Sora had begrudgingly accepted, because what would she do? She would have helped him.

_"Sora, one day you're going to find a girl who makes you crazy. I just hope she's half as wonderful as my wife."_

Sora didn't think his wife was so special. She wasn't as wonderful as her, he bet. She was the most wonderful, but she would have wanted him to help so he continued. The hair combs were beautiful, they'd look almost as wonderful on his wife as they would on her.

_"Hey sensei…does she have long hair?"_

It didn't take long after that to convince Sora to go to his house that evening.

He wanted to see for himself this wonderful wife, the one that made his quite strong and interesting Sensei act so stupid.

See for himself if there was really anyone that could compare.

His house was nice, it had a large lawn and rooms that made you feel like you could really stretch your legs and lay out. Sunlight poured in because there were windows and a long attached porch to the back end facing the low garden wall and the regiment of potted plants.

"Hina-channn! We're here!" His sensei had said, walking both of them into the kitchen. Sora hesitated for a moment before he saw her.

His mouth dropped to the floor as she surfaced from behind the wall, wearing a long apron and that beautiful smile.

Sora felt his eyes widen as she stepped up to him and his Sensei put a hand roughly on his head, ruffling the hair.

"This is Sora-kun!"

Hinata smiled down at the boy with stormy grey eyes and watched as he stared at her. Naruto must not have told him it was her, just like she'd made him promise. She'd wanted it to be a surprise.

She continued to smile at him as she went to a counter, took out a peach, and put it in his waiting palm.

Sora felt the sun break through the rough stone, seeping through his sensei's hand and onto the floor, casting its bright fingers over his entire body. The tears leaked down without him even noticing as in a giant heave of air he ruptured the cage and left it tangled behind him and everything was white and hot and living.

And that pretty lady who made him nice and that sensei that made him somebody were right there. Sun and Moon and Sora could…maybe be the sky too.

Hinata looked at the boy who'd seen a lot of trouble in just a few years of life and smiled so surely at him and told him the one thing he'd always hoped to hear.

"You've grown."

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**^-^**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	6. Poker Face

**A sexy little piece of fic, if I've ever written one!**

**Lol. Written for a friend who thought up the prompt in the summary and wanted Hinata to be called out on her seducting skills, which we all know are quite epic.**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

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**Sunbeams**

5. Play

_Sum:_ She deals him like a card, but nobody will ever call her bluff.

Hazy, smoky bars and too many people crammed in.  
Back corners, familiars, strangers, very importants, get out of here's, usuals, something new's, regulars, stragglers.

Imported beer, local ale. Rice wine and cheap liquor.

Long couches shoved against back walls, Polaroids snapping memories she must hold onto, will eventually lose, God help her. Memories, memories, memories.

Her eyes are as foggy as the atmosphere as Sasuke takes a drag, Naruto takes a swig, she sits perched on the end of the vessel that holds them all safe for now and so many have held these positions and she sees the cycle turn before her eyes as pale arms envelope each other and everyone is vulnerable and happy and drunk.

"I bet you couldn't get Naruto to beg for it…" The voice trails off in her air as she blushes and giggles, head thrown back, the twittering voices of Tenten chirping in her ears.

I bet you can't! Can't, can't, can't! She laughs. Tenten doesn't know better, she supposes.

There's no way she'd be able to have him on such a short leash like Sakura does Sasuke! No way no way! She's Hinata. She's too nice.

She's Hinata, she's too shy!

Shy girls don't play games like that!

God forbid he embarrass her! Sakura chimes like summer breezes and Hinata smiles even wider.

Sakura doesn't know any better.

She lets Tenten keep whispering, eyes going back and forth and back and forth. Decisions, decisions.

Tenten looks up at her as she starts to put down her bottle. She'll give them a show.

The bottle goes discarded as she sways and sits on his lap and leans into his chest, deep down into his ear and so many eyes follow and she almost smirks. Almost, but not quite enough to count. After all, she is a lady.

"Naruto?"

Silly, fluttering hands touch his neck; she bobs her head in time with the dingy radio songs and Kiba's off key singing.

"Yeah?"

"Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?"

"A yes or no game?"

"Ok."

"I ask you…and you say yes or no."

The dandelion bends in the wind as she kisses his cheek. She's so cheeky when she's drunk. A cheeky adorable little monkey in lilac, a vision in periwinkle and ivory.

"Mmmmm…" He starts, voice low.

Eyes follow them and he looks up at her through dark lashes and she tilts her head.

"Do you love me?" She smiles. She starts off easy. Too easy.

"Yes."

"Will you leave me?" Even easier.

"No."

"Will you…oh I don't know…" She stretches back and twiddles with something before he draws back her attention, eyes already that dark.

"Ask me." She grins.

Tenten clinks her glass. Sakura crosses her legs.

"No… I think I'll make you wait. I'm tired of this game." She purrs as she touches the collar of his shirt, still balanced on his lap, feet daintily crossed and touching the ground. He looks agitated.

"Ask me." He persists and she almost lets him have her.

"Maybe it's my turn…how about you ask me, and maybe…" She says it softly, demurely, pretty mouth drawing out the maybe. It's agonizing. He tries to grab her but she won't have that.

Suddenly she pulls back and puts a hand on his mouth, just when he's getting to the good part.

And she knows how to poke him just a bit, and how to push him this way and that until he's dough in her palms.

"No." She says with a laugh and then the hand trails away as she bends forward and then she's off of him and he's up too watching her with dim eyes and a foxy grin. She doesn't even bat an eyelash as she walks out across the floor and then turns briefly over her shoulder and smiles. He waits expectantly, loving the game, loving that she loves him rolling over at her beck and call. She pauses.

Sakura looks funnily irritated and keeps looking at Sasuke who's watching with hooded, lazy eyes. Tenten just looks on in awe, as if maybe, it isn't even possible that one girl could win so much at this game…

As soon as he hears her prettiest command he's across the room, sauntering after her. He loves that word.

"Yes."

He's as obedient as a puppy and all those eyes look up to other eyes and raise eyebrows, anticipating some kind of reaction as he follows her out of the bar with his tail wagging and that dopey grin plastered to his face.

How come they don't follow like that?

Hinata won't tell her secrets quite yet, but then again, maybe she doesn't have any.

That's the beauty of it, she supposes.

Even shy girls have games when they know exactly how to play.

* * *

**^-^**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	7. Brown Sugar

**For my sweet tooth and the song that basically sums up NaruHina.**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

* * *

**Sunbeams**

65. Reality

Sum: It was almost like she knew, before knowing, that it would always be this way.

_If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light? I find a match._

Hinata toyed with the edge of the sheet and stared at the man who couldn't find it in himself to wake up. She didn't really mind.

Sundays were sparse these days.

_Cause I love the way you say "good morning"…and you take me the way I am._

He needed to sleep anyway. She wouldn't complain. She'd just lay here beside him.  
It was all she'd ever ask for.

Between them, Kiyoshi was nestled with his round little tummy going up and down with each breath he took. She smoothed the hair on the top of his forehead, head tilting as she watched him sleep beside his Father.

_If you are chilly, here take my sweater. Your head is achy? I'll make it better._

He smelled like milk and sunshine and his pale skin melted in with the blankets as he twitched a chubby finger in his slumber. She trailed her hand across his cheek and kissed the little expanse of skin, completely satisfied with the circulation she was losing as Naruto's heavy head settled over her other arm.

_Cause I love the way you call me "baby"… and you take me the way I am._

When her husband blinked awake after a few moments of her ministrations, she felt the warmth of his palm as he took her face in it and stroked it with his thumb, tickling her ear. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

There were no words exchanged, just the quietness.

_I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair. Sew on patches to all you tear._

The quietness of growing old together, the quietness of having a little boy who was for once 'being quiet', the quietness of being a part of something bigger than just two or three or a hundred.

His smile said "Hinata", and Hinata could smile back and say "Naruto", and it was so lovely to be able to strip everything down to a Sunday morning every once in a while, especially after the dust settled and everyone was healing in one way or another.

Constantly healing from the hurt, constantly rebuilding what was so lost.

_Cause I love you more than I could ever promise…and you take me the way I am._

Kiyoshi rolled his head and Hinata chuckled before Naruto deftly slipped his hand down from her chin and stuck it on his son's abdomen.

The shrieks that erupted, the tickling that pushed her off the bed, the pillows that found the floor, the just washed linens that became as tussled as their hair. The silliness of a man who killed and a woman who had prostituted herself for the sake of her people on more than one occasion and a little boy who would walk in footsteps that seemed too small for the likes of him.

The banana pancakes.  
The "Mama go out and 'wing', 'like higher'."

_You take me the way I am…_

Hinata smiled at her son, goofy faces and no grace and absolutely no makeup. There wasn't a single person to impress, and it was so sublime to have Naruto making octopus hotdogs and bare muddy feet after discovering the caterpillars on her milkweed outside.

It was the ultimate pain in the neck sometimes, but for once, Hinata didn't question anything but took it all in stride.

Even when she held Kiyoshi's grubby hand and wrestled him into a bath he didn't want to take and into pajamas he didn't want to wear, and into a bed he didn't want to sleep in.

Sakura didn't have that much trouble with Haru, Tetsuya was too sensible to be troublesome, especially since he already knew he'd only have to do it again the next day.

But she knew Haru couldn't make her laugh so much, or get into so much trouble or be so much like Naruto that she couldn't differentiate between the two sometimes. And she knew there was no other Naruto, not even when she slept and thought of one who always remembered to take out the garbage and didn't check act so stupid or exaggerate everything or forget the world was in fact not only compromised of him and his goals.

_You take me the way I am._

Life didn't turn out exactly as she planned; it was no picnic. It was messes and old t-shirts and 'no nights out', no nights at all for a long time, and unexpected visitors, and too many surprises.

But it was beautiful, in the same way Kiyoshi's macaroni necklace was worn more than her favorite jade earrings…it was her Sunday morning, and it was her reality.

_You...take me the way I am._

* * *

**^-^**

**The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson**

**My little brother used to say "wing, like higher" when he wanted me to push him on the swings.**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	8. Butterfly Kisses

**Because the first chapter of the sequel will be out on her birthday, April 24th. :D**

**Naru-chan is such a good papa ^-^**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

* * *

**Sunbeams**

18. Loneliness

_Sum:_ No one understood it more.

Naruto felt the tiny hand slip into his.

"We'll see Mama off, ne?" He said, trying to sound overly-cheerful.

Hana Uzumaki was firmly unconvinced. She looked on bitterly, watching her older brother walk away with his Mother towards the Hyuuga side of the village. She was leaning on Naruto's leg, and he caught the longing in her eyes as Kiyoshi went off again with Hinata in tow, leaving the two of them standing on the drive to watch them disappear over the crest of the hill.

"What do you want to do today?" Naruto continued, "I took the day off just to spend with you! Isn't that cool?" Hana let a tiny, blinding smile tickle her face.

"Daddy gives himself days off all the time! Mama says so!" She laughed and Naruto felt the guilty twitch meet his eye as he imagined a clear image of his wife, eyebrow raised, as he was caught sleeping in his office again.

"Well, mama says a lot of things, doesn't she?" He replied, not to lose any of the admiration shining in his daughter's eyes. Hana giggled again, before letting the look fall away, staring back at the street.

"Daddy, how come I can't go too?" She asked innocently. Naruto felt the breath leave him slowly and stared down at his daughter.

She was beautiful. Anyone who didn't want her was crazy, star-graving mad (not that he'd ever give her away. After all he was her hero. She'd said so herself). She had scarlet hair tied off to one side, and wide, stunning crystalline blue eyes. A spitting image of his own Mother, or so Kakashi told him each time he saw his Goddaughter.

And yet…

Naruto smiled down at her, unable to tell his six year old that because she was as wonderful and special as she was, she'd never be good enough for one bastard of a man and his damn clan. Instead he put up a front, being as light hearted and cheerful as ever, if not more.

"You wouldn't want to go anyway!" He responded, avoiding her initial question, "All they do is sit around and drink tea and look serious." Naruto let his face set into a very exaggerated version of a typical Hyuuga meeting and Hana looked on, eyes wide, then laughing as her Father contorted his mouth and crossed his eyes suddenly. He'd do anything he could to convince her to forget about them for the afternoon, that it wouldn't be worth her precious time. He'd lie to his little girl if he had to.

"So why can't I go too? I can just stand outside with Tetsuya…" Hana continued, looking up at her Father, "He's not allowed in either Daddy, when Hiashi-sama trains Kiyoshi. He says so." Naruto inwardly cursed her intuitive nature and inherited ability to see through his sorry excuses of stories.

"Why doesn't Hiashi-sama let me call him Oji-san? Is it the same reason I'm not allowed in?" Naruto nodded slowly.

"Yes. It's just…well, Hiashi-sama has bad eyes, yeah? And when he looks at you Hana he doesn't see how special you are! Isn't that funny? He looks at you and he forgets that you're his Granddaughter, because he gets confused by your red hair!" Naruto turned around walking back towards the house, Hana following him eagerly.

"You really think? Are his ears bad too Daddy? Is that why he only lets me call him Hiashi-sama?" Naruto smiled, but inside his heart broke off just a little more.

"Yes baby. That's exactly it." He answered ruffling her hair. Hana looked so bright and happy, her face breaking into a hopeful grin.

"Then I'll make sure that Hiashi-sama sees me next time! And I'll talk extra loud too!" Naruto laughed and opened the door to the house, letting her bound inside.

"I don't think that's the way you should go about it…" Hana's face lit up and she ran towards her bedroom, skidding in the hallway on her bare feet before turning back to her Father.

"I know! I know!" She shouted, "I'll draw him one of my pictures, and I'll draw us real big so he can see us standing together! Do you think he'd be less confused then?" Naruto just let the smile slip at her happiness to make one horrible, stone man see what was already standing there, right in front of him.

"Always worth an Uzumaki try!" He shouted back, raising a fist. Hana mimicked, little face set in the most basic of determinations.

"Hai!" She chanted, and then she was gone, and he heard the distinct sound of tiny hands sifting through many, many things; the rattle of crayons, the shuffles of paper, the crash as something fell off of something else.

Several pictures later, Hana surveyed her work and smiled.

"Kiyoshi can give them to him next time!" Naruto put on his sandals and she did the same, fumbling into her smaller pair.

The Hana formed gallery littered the porch where she'd methodically created them in the afternoon sun, Naruto enjoying a beer and the ambiance of an empty house before declaring ramen was most certainly in order.

Anything to get her mind off of the mind-numbing hurt of being ostracized and never knowing why.

Naruto always swore he'd tell his children whatever truth he could; that he would spare them the pain of not understanding, but once he got there, he really couldn't do it. She was still just a baby, and he'd always been especially protective because Hana was no Hyuuga. If her mother hadn't been her mother, no one would have ever traced it, and that was a fact never ignored.

Naruto wasn't an idiot; he heard the things they whispered about her, about his perfect little girl who couldn't do any wrong, who was just as capable of his son.

Naruto understood during that point in his life why it was his beloved Third Hokage sheltered him so much.

Naruto knew better than anyone that once you could grasp the reasons for your pain, those feelings of blissful ignorance would always change.

Naruto lifted Hana up onto his shoulders and held her ankles as she twisted her hands into his hair, shrieking with joy. It was such a bittersweet picture.

"See, isn't this much more fun? You get Daddy all to yourself! That's not easy to come by you know!"

Naruto smiled sadly, but it didn't show.

He'd never let her feel that loneliness.

* * *

**Introducing Hana Uzumaki.  
She's important. I like her. She has a spunk. :p**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	9. Old Wounds

**Tomorrow, Tomorrow...**

**A little background.**

**(Because I figured, this was plausible.)**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

**

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**

**Sunbeams**

9. Famous

_Sum:_ There remains a price for everything.

Hana Uzumaki was only fifteen when she was apprehended by a vigilante group outside of Sound. It appeared, much to her dismay, that old habits die hard.

The man's breath smelled like stale sake, and Hana struggled under his grip. How the hell had he snuck up on her? She couldn't remember, it was all too foggy, too dim in her mind. Jun lay on the ground, a few feet away, unconscious. They'd hit her with something blunt, but Hana couldn't spare the worry for her comrade.

The sticky fingers curled around her throat and smashed her up against the wall; her head spun and she felt blood mingle with the dirt that had been slammed away at the impact. The man smiled dangerously as she clawed at his wrist and hand, kicking, but quickly losing the strength to continue.

"Such a pity." He rasped, "You would be so beautiful if you weren't the daughter of that thing. That monster your pitiful country calls a leader." Hana felt rage boil under her skin, igniting like a timed fuse.

"MY FATHER IS A GREAT MAN! THE GREATEST SHINOBI WHO EVER LIVED!" She shouted, though the cry came out strangled and choked off as the fingers tightened.

She yelped and the man laughed lowly, twirling a kunai in front of her face; the metal glinting and razor sharp. Her blue eyes followed it and the man mocked her openly, his team laughing at the sight of the Honorable Daughter pressed against the wall, helpless as a pinned animal.

"You are not as strong as they say…you cannot knock me to the ground, can you princess?" She gagged at the vile name as he continued, eyes narrowing, "… what should I do with this dirty girl? She is barely nobility let alone royalty of that pit you call a village. A pit of lies…and we all know where you come from." He chuckled and Hana felt her head begin to spin at, the edges blurring. He smirked.

"Like that brother of yours…do you know what they say around these parts?" Hana tried to pull the unconsciousness to her ears. She wanted no ugly rumors, no horrible truth for him to say. It would shatter her; this, at the very least, would break every bone in her body before the man before her ever could.

But, she was a prisoner, prisoners have no say.

"They say he abandoned your village, betrayed you for the sake of your Mother's clan…they say he was put up to it…so blindly obedient those Hyuuga eyes…just like your mother's uncle…" She could almost feel his finger's swell with pride, "These circles always come round you see...first Uchiha's... now Hyuuga's want there page in books as well.".

"You….Bastard…" She choked and he frowned.

"Watch your tongue, pig." He spat, and Hana gasped for another breath.

"I am proud of my…my…" The word got lost on her tongue, the fuzziness dripping out of her brain and into her mouth like honey, yet she refused, she stared the man dazedly in the face, "I am proud to be an Uzumaki!" Hana couldn't scream as the Kunai flashed.

He'd sliced her skin like wet tissue; her cheek giving way under the blade so smoothly.

"BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY TO ME, DAUGHTER OF A DEVIL. BE PROUD NOW." He hissed into her ear. She felt the blood run down her face, dripping onto his fingers, dripping onto her neck, her clothes, soaking her chest. Be proud. Proud of the dirty scars that made her want to scream in agony. She couldn't she was fighting for air, for anything. There was only pain. So much pain.

Why? Why? She hadn't done anything…and yet they did this? Who would do this? Daughter of a devil…she was Hana Uzumaki. Her Father had always told her.

You are Hana Uzumaki.

Suddenly…it wasn't a game of names anymore.

The man laughed at her.

"I missed a few, Princess…can't have you running round with something missing, now can we?" Three more, so simply performed, like a musician with a knife.  
Her head lolled, her brain fought, losing quickly. There was no oxygen left. She burned.

Blood soaked down.

"Princess, don't cry, now you'll be just like your Father, and no one will ever mistake you for anyone else ever again. Daughter of a demon…daughter of scum…." The taunts melted away and Hana felt something break in her; something that had been mangled by the disappearance of her brother. She couldn't find the tears to cry.

No words to scream. The mirror broke, her Father's image crumbled. Kiyoshi, on his pedestal, came tumbling down.

There was no one to tell her otherwise. There was no argument to give this man…there was nothing she could say. She was breaking.

What was she? What was she…

She was six whiskers.

"Princess…that pretty face will be so famous."**

* * *

**

**This idea entertains many of my thoughts.**

**Kind of like Naruto and all the Fourth's enemies...only with Naruto?**

**Haha...poor Hana. She has such identity issues.**

Jun is the daughter of Rock Lee and his pretty civilian wife.

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	10. Cookie Crumbs

**A little anthology to make you happy :'D **

**For now, I have to focus on my Ouran fic, and I want to get back into these drabbles, and maybe another NaruHina fic!!! (sound good? I have a million ideas) **

**Sorry I've been horrible and lazy, but if you'll be patient, I promise you'll be pleased!!  
Hope you enjoy these, they were cute and fun! (My fave = 47)  
xoxoxo,  
Spoons **

**

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**

**41. Tears**

Naruto wears his heart on his sleeve: when he's sad he cries, when he's happy he cries, when he's angry he punches you, and then he cries - but when he tells her he loves _her_, its Hinata's turn to shed the tears.

**42. Hope**

One day, he'll show Sasuke what he missed, and one day he hopes Sasuke will actually miss it.

**43. Night **

He chooses midnight, lying right next to her in bed, the ring palmed really, _really_ tight in his hand…just so she won't see how scared he is.

**44. Star**

When Naruto tells him that's its ok to wish sometimes, Sora calls him an idiot and wishes he would stop believing everything that man says.

**45. Courage**

"It's right there! Get it!"  
Naruto stumbles in half asleep; Hinata is pointing to the space between the toilet and the wall, standing on a counter.  
The mouse just twitches its nose.

**46. Police**

Sasuke is impassive, but everyone knows he knows he looks great in that uniform.

**47. Ice Cream**

"What do you want?"  
"I'm down with the chocolate! I like it rich and dark!"  
"…"

One word pops into Hinata's mind when Hana places her order: Kakashi.

**48. Pup**

It isn't Hinata's fault that Kiyoshi is afraid of dogs, but Kiba swears it isn't his either.  
Akamaru agrees by jumping to full height and barking.  
Kiyoshi almost wets himself.

**50. Jungle**

Kiyoshi is a tiger, Haru is his trusty sidekick, the garden is the steamy rainforest, and Sasuke just happens to have hair that resembles the posterior of a duck.  
"Of course Tiger's eat ducks!"

**59. Mad**

"Hana what is this?" Hinata takes a hesitant look at the red substance on her clothes. It's sticky and smells like fruit. It's going to stain.  
"Jam!"

Kiyoshi appears from the kitchen, bread stuck to his face and in his hair.  
"Are you mad yet?"

She can't help but laugh.

Starry-eyed is on Hiatus ATM because I'm so busy I can't sit down and do it right, but when I find time to do that, I'll pick it up again!


	11. Dirty Laundry

**For those of you who asked...**

**xoxoxo,  
Spoons **

**

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**

**Sunbeams**

78. Pay

_Sum:_ It was always for them.

Kiyoshi couldn't say he wasn't used to it. The darkened meeting rooms, the silent studies.

_We must test his loyalties_.

They talked about everything, anything. They talked about his Mother. They talked about his Father. They talked about Hana.

He hated that.

_Kiyoshi – what are you doing?_ _Can I come too? Please! You never take me anywhere!_

He would never tell Nao about it, even though she asked constantly. He wouldn't ever say he loved her either, but she asked about that constantly too. Tetsuya knew. He could see it in his eyes as he walked into the main house, towards his Grandfather's patronizing smile. Tetsuya who was far more capable than he, Tetsuya who was his best of friends, Tetsuya who was patient and mentored him. Tetsuya who was calm and courteous. Tetsuya knew. Tetsuya never said – Tetsuya simply let his eyes do all the talking.

It made him squirm.

_You would do anything for the clan…right Kiyoshi?_

He loved his Grandfather – how could he not? He was a doting Oji-san. He loved him, though he never said, though he never held him like his Father, or kissed him like his Mother, or dragged at his heels like Hana. Kiyoshi knew he loved him.

_Kiyoshi…the decision is yours – but understand the consequences if you should refuse. We will do it either way, with or without you, but your Father's situation may not be so easily resolved…_

Kaori loomed over him, patiently cataloguing his movements, just waiting to pounce for the moment of treachery that never came.

And out of all of them – he went to Sasuke, the last they would ever expect… but he had to tell someone. He had to vomit up the black ball of words and thoughts that anchored him to the floor, that made him uneasy around the people whom he loved the most. He thought he'd understand him best. He did, though not without a price.

Kiyoshi was willing to pay - he had to have someone to give him an answer.  
Answers – no one ever had them, it seemed. They only had _explanations_. Only had _excuses_. Only had more questions.

Nao was the queen of questions.

_Kiyo-kun? Why do you look over my shoulder when you're kissing me?_

He went home with a black eye. But Sasuke never really stopped him.

_What about your Family? Your sister? Your _Father_? You are going to betray them?_

It wasn't betrayal. It was for them. Sora told him to stay out of trouble, or it would cost him.

Kiyoshi laughed.

Always for them. To pay ahead. To pay for what would come – to save Hana. To keep her free from the wars of the past; to give their Father his hero's reward, leave the title unblemished. His Mother…well it would break her heart – maybe he could call it vengeance or something gaudy like that.

_You only have to kill one child. You can do that, can you not?_

"It will destroy everything my Father has built – it will destroy everything!"

_Kiyoshi – it's only a Sound child. No one will even know Kiyoshi…it's simply…housekeeping._

He'd seen that child in a photograph. A little girl. She was barely Hana's age, probably younger.

_You are loyal, are you not? First to your clan – this is your blood Kiyoshi. Your blood will always be thicker than the water of the river. You will always answer first to your blood, and second to your village._

But he knew. It would start with one, and it would end with twenty.

He knew. He knew, he knew.

One by one until that family was slaughtered, debt repaid for that one lost Brother. The world would know to never touch their family again.

Never.

_If I do this…then it will be my own vendetta. _

His eyes had steeled in a way that no Hyuuga's ever would.

_You will never place this on my Father's shoulders – my family, the village, none will take this burden._

And they with quiet smiles said 'fine'. If the Uchiha could do it, then it could be done, and it would be done tenfold better. They were Hyuuga after all – they were always better. One last request.

_You let me die. I don't want to be running my whole life. I don't want them to live with that. I will die here. Let me die to them; let me go with a noble cause._

It was always for them.

Kiyoshi ruffled Hana's hair as he left.

_Be good ne? I'll be home before you know it!_

His Father smiled at him. Be careful he said. Kiyoshi smiled back, sadly. Of course. His Mother fussed but he caught her hands and kissed them. I'll be home soon! He laughed and she just shook her head. Her son, an ANBU. She looked unsettled, squeezing his fingers.

_Don't do anything you'll regret._

She whispered it and he went stiff before the muscles laxed. He kissed her cheeks.  
He didn't regret it; he'd never regret it if it was for her.

They were ambushed by her family – information had leaked. He killed her brother. Her aunt.

He killed the child silently. She didn't even know what was happening.

They had sealed him early on…as soon as her heart stopped beating it released and his head felt like it was on fire. He remembered watching Tetsuya stare at him from the corner of the main house, the two of them standing only a few feet apart. It was the last memory he'd ever have.

_I know what you're going to do…I know you are going to forget everything for the sake of this clan._

Of course he was going to forget. He didn't want to die, but he wanted to be dead. Kiyoshi had walked to him and leaned against the house, shadows and the azaleas painting the perfect summer scene, the sweetest sentiment as he listened to Naomi singing inside and Hana running wildly on the lawn. She was golden in the sunshine, bright eyes glowing sapphire as the sky. She stretched her hands to a butterfly and the clouds. He'd always envied her – for looking like his Father.

_I want them to live on happily – take care of them for me…especially Hana. She's going to be your responsibility now. I don't want her to end up alone…  
_  
But soon all of them were gone, not even their shadows and he was empty all inside. He didn't know what he was or who he was. He was anything and nothing. He was just a being, just drifting farther and farther away from that glorious sunshine into the darkness. It was like everything had been pulled out of him by greedy, desperate hands. Everything he'd ever had to give, he'd given.

When he woke up two girls were looming over him. He smiled at them charmingly.

"Who am I?"

_We don't know…we found you! You were staggering through our town, and you were covered in blood…are you alright?_

Kiyoshi smiled. He asked again.

"Who am I?"

The Hyuuga counted their pride like coins with their fragile fingers, all the richer.

* * *

**Mah. It's different because there is no pay at the end, but it happened without my notice and I didn't want to mess with it.  
Hope it makes you feel better that I actually explained something. Oh Kiyoshi; he's not perfect - easily manipulated that one. (though certainly painted into a corner...but would you expect anything less?)**

YES. The parallels to Itachi are SUPPOSED to exist here, but he's different too...not as stupid in my opinion.  
And no, no one knows about it either because it was blamed on some fodder nin. Lol...fodder XD

**(not that Itachi was unintelligent, but seriously, I've always thought that making one's younger sibling become bent on hate from an early age wasn't exactly the most thought through idea...)**

**ONWARD!!!**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	12. Second Chances

**For all the fics that are all about "FIXING EVERYTHING IN THE PAST OMG."**

**I give you: a more realistic approach, and perhaps, a more beautiful, courageous, giving one.  
**

**xoxoxo,  
Spoons **

**

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****Sunbeams**

74. Fall

_Sum:_ April shower's bring May flowers.

Hinata once asked Sakura, when they were younger, if she would have changed anything. Sakura had questioned her, head tilting.

"What do you mean?" The girl's eyes had gone soft and she'd just looked distant for a moment.

"If you had the chance, would you change anything?" She asked again, and she looked as though she was depending very much on her answer, staring at Sakura with the faintest smile painted to her face. Sakura had felt the constriction of being uncomfortable. There was something about the way Hinata was staring at her – it unnerved her. But at the same time, the wisdom seemed to rub off, taking hold and pushing past to the root of the question. Sakura chuckled.

"If you mean, would I have stopped him for real? Sasuke you mean?" Hinata nodded.

"Hypothetically, I've always said yes." Sakura said tossing her pink head, "But, would I really do it? Even with the feeling of all the pain and the guilt and everything else? No." She took a sip of her tea and stared into it.

"I don't say that because I am glad it happened." She whispered, eyes glassing over, "I don't say that because I'm happy that it taught me to be strong…of all the ways to learn…but…" She stopped and looked at Hinata, her smile coming back, "It had to happen, and it would have happened eventually. Hell, I probably would have just let him go. I wouldn't even have said anything except maybe 'HEY! BASTARD! When you're not paying attention for even a microsecond I'm going to kick you into the next millennium!' or something like that." She laughed, holding up her delicate fist. Hinata smiled, chuckling.

They settled into silence.

"I'm just happy he's back now. Even if it would have taken forever, I would still be happy he's home, and I still would have let him go."

Hinata nodded along with her.

"Bad things happen, but there's always something good that comes out. Sometimes we don't see it right away, but it comes. You'll see it someday Sakura." She mumbled and Sakura for some reason completely trusted her, like she already knew Hinata already had seen it way before either of them. She seemed so grown up now, but she figured near-death experiences would do that.

"Yeah, it'd be kind of like expecting green grass, but asking for no rain to fall." She said with a sigh, and both girls smiled.

**

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**

**If you had to go into the past to change everything and be happy, then who do you love? Do you only love the person if they are completely fixed?**

**I don't think love runs like that. I think love has blood and dirt under her fingernails.**

**I think love accepts you, and lets you make the same mistakes a million times and still forgives you in the end.**

**And that is why I refuse to read "OMG PAST" fics :'D**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	13. New Clothes

**Same time frame as 'Chores'.**

**xoxoxo,**

**Spoons **

**

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****Sunbeams**

100. Heart

_Sum:_ Kunoichi look great in black.

"It's…good…to have one. You never know what will happen. When something does…happen…you don't want to have to think about things like that."

Hinata could hear the quiet strain in Kurenai's voice, but she didn't really think anything of it. It was practical, she supposed.

But staring at the dress on the hanger was so much different. She'd never gotten around to buying a new one after she'd grown out of her older one, but now – now she just stared at it. It was a pretty dress with a simple cut. A-line. Modest. Sleeves that weren't too long nor too short. It wasn't embellished anywhere

She stared at it for a very long time, fingering the material. Sturdy material, easily washed. It wasn't that expensive. She picked it up off the rack and folded it over her arm, throwing another article of clothing on top of it, as if she maybe could have forgotten it was there.

She'd known it's symbolism. It was something subtle. Everyone she knew had one. Sakura's swung slightly above her knee, Ino's sported a low scooped neckline, Tenten's was not truly solid black, but truly had black dragonflies and flowers stitched into it that caught the light and shimmered.

Hinata watched the woman ring it up and place it into her shopping bag. It wasn't especially heavy.

Unlocking the door to the apartment, Hinata, walked in, sliding out of her sandals and kicking aside Naruto's boots from the heavy iron door. The apartment was small - Hiashi hadn't granted them any extra money, but she didn't care – Naruto was working so hard that missions were less frequent than usual and so the gap between paychecks was wider than usual, but she kept up intstructing job at the academy and somehow, ends always met.

Switching on the lights she moved to the kitchen. Keys went into the dish next to the fruit bowl – she checked the frog clock – it was still ticking. She pushed the thought of buying spare batteries to the back of her mind and continued her movements. She put away essentials – noodles, milk, eggs. Apples went into the bowl, grapes for herself went into the colander in the sink.

She'd have to put away those dishes – they were beginning to pile up.

With a low breathe she put water into the kettle and thought about turning on the burner – Naruto wasn't home yet, better wait. Moving around, thinking about this and that, anything to occupy her mind.

The tap squeaked off and she shed her sweater onto the back of a chair and stared at the shopping bag sagging off of the opposite side of the table. She picked it up and walked into the bedroom, dropping the shopping and rifing through it, turning to open the closet, shaking her head as Naruto's jacket fell on top of her. How many times had she told him just to leave it on the floor instead of stuffing it in where it only fell on her? Two t-shirts, a new skirt – a new pair of slippers since her old ones were so worn out the treads were coming off.

The black dress was last and she looked into the bag before drawing it out and laying it on the bed. She studied it for a long time.

It was practical.

It was attractive.

Hinata shifted her weight.

It fit well. It wasn't too clingy, if anything it was a tad looser than usual, but it was flattering. She looked slimmer than usual in it, it made her skin look snow white, and her hair shifted between black and blueish when she turned.

"That new?" Hinata started as Naruto came in, looking quizzically at her as she stood in front of the mirror. She blushed.

"Yes." She said, turning back to her reflection. Naruto sidled up beside her, eyebrows raised.

"You look really nice in that!" He said sweetly, planting a kiss on her head and then going past her to change. Hinata didn't move, but as he walked away, she walked away, touching the place he'd kissed.

_It's good to have in case something happens_.

"Why'd you get a new dress?" Naruto called, splashing cold water on his face. He heard nothing and turned off the water, patting his forehead with the towel and then throwing it back into the sink.

"Hina?" He asked, coming out, but stopping mid-step. He could see her standing in front of the mirror, but her head was in her hands, and her shoulders were shaking.

"Hinata!" He cried, walking to her briskly, grabbing her shoulders. She let out another cry of her own and he looked puzzled.

"Was it something I said? Is it the dress…Hina you look great in it!" He continued, "Really beautiful -…"

She knew he didn't understand his words were hurting her. She knew it wasn't his fault that calling her beautiful was the wrong answer. If anything, it made it harder and harder to accept that maybe she'd have to wear it someday. She'd have to wear it like Kurenai.

She didn't want to look beautiful in that dress.

She never wanted to wear that dress. Never.

She had wrapped her arms around him and the words had fallen off his tongue.

"Just for a moment." She whispered, "Just for a moment." Naruto dropped his hands from her shoulders and onto the small of her back. She leaned her cheek against his chest, ear pressed to his sternum, eyes fluttering closed.

"I just want to make sure you're ok." She murmured.

"Of course I'm ok!" Naruto said, and she squeezed him.

"Things happen everyday." She said softly, pressing her ear through his shirt until she heard it. Her body melted against his.

She'd needed to hear it, she needed to know he was right there, that he wasn't going anywhere, that he would be there. She needed to know that he was with her and he loved her and she loved him _so much_.

She'd needed to hear his heart.

**

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**

**I wrote this after I dreamt my best friend died and I was at her funeral.**

**Morbid, I know, but the product was bittersweet.**

You know, taking lemons, make lemonade.  
Bad dream? Pretty fluffy oneshot XD

PS: New poll on my profile :'D

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	14. Odds n' Ends

**A few little gems.  
****Last one was my favorite! **

**xoxoxo,**

**Spoons **

**

* * *

Sunbeams**

_Sum:_ 1,2,3,4 tell me that you love me more.

10. Emotion

"I LOVE HINATA MORE THAN RAMEN!"  
"N-Naruto-kun! You didn't really have to yell it!"

11. Run

Hinata felt her foot slip on the muddy street – she swore she'd run to him if she had to, no matter what her Father ever said. She did. She did, and thunder crashed and she fell, and she cried, but she ran.  
He opened his door and started to say something, but she tumbled into him.

"H-he said to g-get out, s-so I did…" She whispered. "…I ran to you."

12. Fear

Naruto had never experienced such a foreboding as Neji sat next to him, both of them kneeling. His terror only grew as Neji systematically popped each one of his knuckles casually.  
"So, what's this about Hinata and you, Naruto-san?"

13. Gamble

It was always a gamble with Sakura. If Naruto was even vaguely aware of her mood then he considered himself lucky, but Hinata was always so different. With Hinata there was no chance; her wild card was that she just happened to be crazy about him, and he was willing to go all in on that.

14. Christmas

Hinata was astounded as he pushed the present into her fingers.  
"It isn't much, but it's something, right?" He'd said softly and she'd hesitantly open the paper.

"Oh Naruto…" She whispered.

It was a used Polaroid camera.

15. Animal

The kitten was skinny and mean, but Naruto'd insisted upon taking it in, even though he really didn't like cats very much. Hinata had been reserved to the idea at first, but after a week it was obvious who ruled the roost. Stroking the kittens now round belly Hinata had cooed and Naruto had scowled, looking on in nothing but pure contempt.

After a moment, she'd noticed and smiled at the longing in his eyes. She laughed, abandoning the cat who was sunning herself on the windowsill. She patted her lap.

"Naruto-kun, stop pouting." She reprimanded softly, still giggling, "You know you're the only animal for me!" He'd blushed, but he'd still slunk over to her, settling into the softness of her legs and she'd pet his hair over and over until he'd fallen asleep. She swore she heard him purr.

**

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**

**Yummy little fun bag :'D  
****  
I've begun to write a sequel to Moonstruck that deals  
completely with Naruto's side of things.**

Are you interested?

**Pleeze R and R! Love you all so much!**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

**PS: WHAT THE HELL KISHIMOTO? The manga is gettin' on my nerves.**


	15. Good Nights

**I liked writing this :'D**

**xoxoxo,**

**Spoons **

**

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**

**Sunbeams**

64. Dream  
_Sum_: He would

He couldn't shake the dreams from his head. The little boy crying, screaming in the darkness; the heart-wrenching pain in his chest. He searched everywhere in that darkness, he met so many faces.

The little boy haunted the images. Little things, his light face, dark hair, his smile, his laugh, arms outstretched towards _her_ – the faceless one whose back was always turned away from him, but never _away_ from him. She welcomed him in her own way with her apron-tied back and long dark hair. The way she held the boy with such tenderness, but her mouth always moved in silent words. He watched her from his vantage point far away and slowly, he began to fall hopelessly for her. Something about her maternal ways, something about the way she cared for each thing, the way he could tell she was happy, other times when she would stop when the boy was not around and her shoulders would quake as she coughed, clutching her arm. He should have noticed sooner the signs that things were not all they seemed.

He only asked himself: why did she do that? Other times he watched her sink down onto the surface of the table and she would cry for someone he could not see. He could see her mouth painted with their name, for their life, but she only cried silently, and he could not breach the glass between them. He wanted to help her; he wanted to hold her, to tell her that whoever she missed, whoever she was searching for, he would find them. He promised her, loudly, beating his fists against the barriers.

Forever – he said – Forever; I will take care of you forever.

He wanted to stay in those dreams; he wanted to dream of the happiness he felt with them, but then he had seen in the images of her bloody and slumped against the kitchen counter. Something from the inside leaking out of her and the little boy crying and crying and crying.

There wasn't anything he could do to help them. She was going to die. He fought through the nightmares to where they were, past all the painful things that ripped him inside – but he had to find her. He had to find them somehow, make sure they were ok. The little boy was still screaming, holding onto her clothes, and when Naruto stepped past the broken glass he saw the boy did not lift his head. They were fading, fast.

"You can save them, you know you can…" The voice echoed against his head, familiar but not, the sound of a woman. He heard the tinkle of bells, the drag of silk clothing, and the cool touch of a hand to his forehead. "Don't let her happiness die…don't let her happiness become merely a dream…" The mournful voice asked of him and he quivered.

_"It is all I can give to her, please do not let her happiness disappear…"_ The voice was begging him. Beseeching him.

Naruto watched the dream dissolve away and he was left with nothing. He trembled and lurched forward onto unsteady knees. He cried.

"I won't." He whispered. "I won't."

He would find her. He would find her, and he would hold her hands in his and tell her that whatever she was looking for, he had found it.

He would hold her and tell her was sorry he was so late.

Just give him one more chance, one more time to get it right. He wouldn't mess up, he would wake up. He wouldn't waste his time dreaming. find her.

**

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**

**Thanks for reading!**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	16. Sunrise Sunset

****

I know its been forever.

**I love you all, and thank you  
for everything you do for me :]**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

**PS: The format has a mind of its own, and changes at will XD**

* * *

**Sunbeams**

96. Forever

_Sum: _One step at a time.

"Hokage – sama?" The young shinobi, pressed and polished, a cookie-cutter example of Konoha pride, if they ever saw one, edged into the circular office with the energy of nervous anticipation. He moved with caution, shutting the door gently behind him, before turning fully to the space, only to be disappointed to the extreme.

It was completely empty.

"Uh…H-Hokage-sama?" He asked again, moving into the open room, hands clutching what looked like a report.

"Just missed him." The boy, whose name was Hakuto, moved his head sharply to the right, facing the figure leaning leisurely out of the window, a book in his hands. His honey-colored hair gleamed in the morning sunlight, and his grey eyes stormed in the shade, a striking contradiction as he pulled his legs in from the rooftop and let them down onto the floor, tucking the book into his vest, facing the young ninja with a sympathetic smile.

"Someone really should have told you not to come at this time." Hakuto blinked innocently.

"Is Hokage-sama on business?" He asked, tentative and shy. Sora only smirked, flopping into Naruto's desk-chair, twirling the pencil there on the desktop, much to Hakuto's shock at such forwardness.

"You could say that!" He chuckled, "If it's business, it's the most important kind."

"Do you know when he'll be back?" Hakuto asked, running a weary hand through his hair. Sora shrugged good naturedly, staring out the window to the sprawling city.

"Who knows? Depends…he's down there somewhere."

"What is he doing?" Hakuto continued, stepping up towards the window, looking down at the bustling streets. Sora only chuckled again.

* * *

Naruto walked around the ambling path, admiring the scenic plants and ambiance of the river alongside the garden walks. The air buzzed with life, birds and bugs, and fish in the rivers, the hum of the wind through the great, strong Konoha trees. His bones creaked a little more than they used to, his face a little thinner – but these were only signs, battle scars of a life well-lived. His active mind took in all his surroundings as if it were the first time he'd ever been there, though the true couldn't be more contrary.

He'd been coming there every day for over forty years – and never once did he tire.

Perhaps it was the gentleness of the valley. Perhaps not.

Perhaps, he pondered, hands behind his back, robes swishing the dusty pathway, that it was the woman standing a ways down, smiling, hands clasped in front of her.

Hinata's kimono sparkled, the deep blue of her obi and the ornamental whites and lilacs and the gentle sky-blues and periwinkles of dragonflies and lilies playing out across the fabric. The pins, the ones he'd bought so long ago, settled in the crest of her elaborate bun, those little fly aways always escaping the ties framing her face becomingly.

"Hello, My Wife." He said with a twinkle eye and a wink in his smile, watching her light up in delighted response.

"Good afternoon, Dear Husband." She said, her voice still a soft as ever, the affection dripping off of her words like honey. He kissed her temple and she laughed, like wind chimes and sweet music, her hand settling in his.

Her hair was starting to silver, but he didn't mind so much the color as the way it had gotten there. Years of hardship, and of sadness and of happiness and gladness intertwined with each, like their fingers.

But through it all she remained so steadfastly magnificent he still woke up each morning and wondered how it was he landed such a catch, or more importantly, how she'd ever allowed herself to be caught by someone like him.

She was always beautiful, a refined creature of elegance and grace that he could never match. He tightened her hand in his hold with that old familiar guilt he always felt when he stared at her too long.

The kind that made him sorry that he was who he was because it must have been so difficult to be married to Naruto Uzumaki, regardless of his status. He could remember the times when they were not so renowned, the humble times with cramped apartments and food budgets and worries and the numerous times he'd come home to find her paying bills, that little crinkle in her brow.

The loss of their son.  
The loss of many they loved.

The painful track of their daughter, growing up, pushing up through the dirt and mud to reach the sky, where she would always belong, no matter what stood in her way – that defiant streak, that wildness that was born and bred of _Uzumaki_ stubbornness. The times she'd cried. The time's she'd been angry.

The times she must have wondered how it all came out so messy. The polaroids to prove it.

Naruto squeezed her hand apologetically and she glanced at him, questioning in that way she always did – always trying to figure him out even though there was nothing to figure. She'd always had him down to the the little odds and ends that made up his very existence.

He had always meant to keep his promise, but the path had been bumpy and riddled with heart ache, and for this, he would always apologize.

"I'm sorry it did not turn out the way we planned it. Our lives I mean." He said, as they walked. Hinata smiled, staring at the man who wouldn't meet her eyes, still so bashful even after years of practice.

"I never had any plans, Naruto-kun. Not one. I was determined to live my life as never-ending surprises."

"Well, I still am sorry for the outcome. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you a life of comfort."

"Silly Naruto-kun." She clucked, continuing down the path, "You gave me all the life I'll ever want and then some." She sighed, eyes closing. "All I'll ever need is the life we have. It is the only one I've ever wanted to live."

"My only selfish thought is how it will be nice when you can come home. Leave all this business to one of your protégés!" She laughed and Naruto smiled despite himself.

"It will be nice. Maybe we should travel like Kakashi. Or buy a new house away from the main road." He continued and she only nodded in agreement, ambling along, watching the younger couples strolling out of the corner of her eyes. Her heart was warm and steady in her chest.

"It doesn't matter what we do. As long as we do it together."

Naruto laughed.  
"I still will never understand why you ever fell in love with the Number One Knuckleheaded Ninja of Konoha…or why you decided to stay with him so long!" He continued, his rich voice touching her heart.

She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb, staring at it affectionately.

"Because I've always known how special he was, and I always wanted to be with him, since the very first." She replied matter-of-factly, "And I would like to continue to stay with him, if that's alright."

"Well, what do you suppose we do then?" He teased and Hinata turned from his hand and stared up at him, face glowing in the twilight. It was funny, even after all this time his breath still left him when she smiled like that. Her secret smile, only for him. They had stopped, and the breeze was thick with flowers as she held his hand in hers.

"We'll get around to that 'forever' part." She replied, her air of seriousness on the subject endearing. "I think we deserve it after all is said and done."

Naruto's face softened.

"And how should we start, My Wife?"

"I think we can start by taking a walk in the sun, you and I together, just as always Naruto-kun. Yes, we'll start with a walk, and see where it goes." Naruto watched his gentle wife start walking, tugging at his hand to come along.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." He murmured, matching her pace easily, the two of them walking, side by side, hand in hand, the sun high above their heads, following eagerly at their heels.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!  
Suggestions for the next?**

Something seasonal?  
Something passionate?  
Something sexy?  
Something silly?  
Something sad?

**  
xoxo,  
Spoons  
**


	17. Honey Moons

**Sexy seemed to win!  
But I liked the silliness too! :'D**

**xoxoxo,**

**Spoons **

**

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**

**Sunbeams**

93. Kimono

_Sum:_ Messy and wonderful and beautiful love.

The wedding parade passed by the house, its contents either too drunk or too exhausted to care as the two of them slipped out of the wagon and onto the pavement, both of them laughing and stumbling along towards their apartment building.

"N-Naruto!" Hinata choked as he pulled her along. She had been laughing, or at least trying to sneakily conceal it ever since he'd proposed the idea they fly the coop. It was three in the morning and the Hokage's Wedding Celebration was still at its wild, loud crescendo somewhere down the road. Naruto put his finger to his lips and stifled his own laugh, opening the apartment door with a low groan.

"Shhh!" He scolded and Hinata only giggled, holding up her white kimono as they passed through the threshold, "If they hear us, we're _gonners_!" he stressed, yanking his new wife towards him as soon as they'd gotten inside the lobby. Shoved up against the mailboxes next to a potted tree, Hinata's wide eyes gleamed up at him and he kissed her harshly, her hands digging into his hair.

Panting, he laid his forehead on her own, their eyes hazy and excited.

"Mrs. Hinata Uzumaki. I like it. I like it _a lot_. Have I told you that?" Naruto whispered, his husky voice passing over her ear as she caught her breath, his lips finding their way down to her jaw, her ear, her eyelids. "I really." Kiss. "Reall_y._" Kiss. "_Really."_ Kiss. "Like it."

Hinata giggled again, her cheeks completely flushed her arms around his neck, stopping him for a moment.

"You've told me." She whispered, before she laid another gentler kiss on his mouth. There was a heavy pause as she leaned up against him.

"My Dear _Husband._" That's really all it took. A new fire went over Naruto, every cell in his body electric and bristled and overcome by that rough and tumble happiness he only felt when something super happened.

He wanted to shout that off a rooftop for her, right then and there. He wanted to scream it to anyone who would listen. He was her _husband_.

"I _love_ that." He groaned, suddenly pulling them both back and up the stairs. Today was quickly becoming, no had already become, the happiest day of his life - and he was in no mood to let it end. No, he wanted to drag it on as long as possible. The euphoria was absolutely mind controlling, and she was the reason for it all. He couldn't keep his hands off of her as they ascended, and he really had to try to keep himself somewhat contained if only to get them their quicker.

But, at the same time, in Naruto's mind, they couldn't reach their floor fast enough; laughing and whispering, he pulled her up, trying to hold it together as she continued to gather her skirt, and be dragged at the same time. It wasn't until she completely fell forward onto him, her feet slipping and pulling him down that they both just exploded into the unsuppressed laughter, Hinata trying to shush them both the whole time, her lips pursed, cheeks red.

"Shhh! SHH!" She panted, trembling with the silliness of it all. As if there were anyone to be quiet for – everyone was down in the village, celebrating _their_ wedding, probably not even realizing they themselves were completely gone. That was the perk she supposed, of having a festival for a wedding.

"This Kimono is so dumb!" She continued, holding up the white fabric and letting her hands fall down amongst the folds.

"Yeah!" Naruto laughed, holding up one of the ornaments on his own, "Why do they make us wear these stupid things anyway?"

"But it'll have to… have to do!" Naruto finally gasped, helping her to her feet and then subsequently sweeping her off of them. She shrieked as he wobbled unsteadily for a moment and staggered up the steps, his back slamming into the door nearest to them as she kissed him over and over, taking full advantage of his current state of helplessness.

"Inside…" He growled huskily and she bit her lip, fishing around in her kimono for the key. Naruto raised an eyebrow and she pinched his cheek, trying not to smile.

"Y-you try finding a spot to place a house key during your wedding!" She said breathily, her hand finding its way to the lock, still in his arms.

"Naruto!" She scolded as he kissed her neck again, mixing her up and making it harder to control herself, until finally, she got it and the door swung open.

"The door!" She cried, yanking the key out and watching him kick it closed with a dull thud, pulling himself out of his shoes, and allowing Hinata to kick her own of as well.

He pushed past the living room, almost tripping on the rug, but neither of them seemed really concerned until he threw her on the bed, falling down on top of her, letting her slip the shoulders of his kimono down onto his arms, running her pale hands over his arms and chest, both of them locked together in a warm kiss.

"Naruto…" She mumbled, laying an afterthought of a peck onto his lips. He grinned lazily; both of them suddenly overcome by the sleepiness of activity and alcohol from earlier.

"What?" He asked and she pulled away from him standing up, struggling. Propping himself up on one arm he watched her, and finally he found himself laughing for the millionth time that happy night.

"It's stuck!" She whispered, pulling on her ceremonial hood, "It's caught in one of the pins!" She cried and Naruto stood up, walking to her as she tugged again, her hair falling out around her, but the hood not budging.

"Hold on! Hold on!" He said, watching her whimper. He slowly began to untangle it from the twisted locks of hair and pins, until finally it fell, like a white flower petal, or a snowflake, to the floor. Her hair falling about her, and her face moon white under the open curtains, Naruto couldn't help himself. He turned her towards him, taking her face in his palms, kissing her chastely on the nose.

"You are beautiful, even in a stupid kimono." He said softly and she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I'm glad you think so…I always want to look my best for Naruto-kun, especially on an important day like today." She chimed and he lifted her up, his hands locking underneath her legs, her body in his arms flush against him.

"Nah…you don't even have to try." He commented as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Really?" She sighed, and he could see her eyes closing as he squeezed her tighter.

"Of course Hina-chan! You look beautiful all the time."

Slowly, he went backwards, falling once more on the bed, both of them laying there in silence. She stroked his collarbone sweetly and he touched her hair, both of them at a loss.

"I think we should just sleep." She sighed, listening to him yawn despite himself, snuggling into his shoulder. Naruto felt his body sink into the mattress, the weight and fatigue of the day settling in. Her bare feet curled into the bed sheets and his free hand went under his head as a makeshift pillow. He had wanted more, but somehow, this was more than enough.

"Even in that stupid kimono?" He asked tiredly, but Hinata didn't answer, her soft breathing bringing another sleepy grin to his face.

He couldn't really say he minded _this _time.

**

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**

**Thanks for reading!  
Have a safe and happy Christmas!  
****(PS: Reviews make GREAT Christmas presents)**

**xoxo,  
****Spoons**


	18. Act One

**Personal experience always teaches that life isn't always great.**

**I really wanted to examine what I think is one of Naruto's biggest flaws - his ambitiousness. People always think it's so great when he wants to achieve a goal - but think of all the people he's pushed out of the way in the process. He sacrifices the dreams of others to get what he wants because he's taught himself that he deserves it completely.**

**Sometimes tradgedy (like the loss of his parents) can teach you that you can demand more in the future.**

SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER.

**xoxo,  
Spoons**

**

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**

**Sunbeams**

4. Relationship  
_  
Sum:_ We build and we break.

"Hinata! I told you twenty times I'm _sorry_!" [She isn't listening though. She slams her groceries on the counter and tries not to look at his face. She tries not to let him see her red cheeks and the anger in her eyes. ]

"Hinata!" [She wipes her eyes on her sleeve.]

"Just once." [Her voice is whispering.] "Just _once_ you could have listened to me and just come…" [She trails off and starts to put her groceries away with shaking fingers.]

"Could have _what_ Hinata, what's the big deal? It was just something at the Academy, right? There'll be other times!" [His hands try to pull her around but she jerks away, turning to stick milk in the refrigerator and let him catch a glimpse of the hair sticking to her tearing face.]

[She stands with the fridge door open for a moment and then closes it. Both of them are silent.]

"It was important to him to have you there." [She finally turns around.]

"There'll be other times." [He repeats, angry that she's angry with him. That she's crying. That he can't understand.]

"What has happened to you?" [Her hands are balled in fists at her sides. So frustrated. So tired. So sick of the disappointment she sees in Sora and herself and in him.] "Where is the man I decided to marry? WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?"

[She screams and slams her fist into the counter. She puts her palm to her eyes.]

". . ." [There is nothing to say. He stares at the tile.]

"When will you ever understand that the world will not just _stop_ because of _you_?" [She looks at him, furious.] "We are all that boy HAS and you blew him off like he was just another kid!" [Her hand sweeps towards the apartments window, the cramped space hot and humid from the summer air.] "Is this all we are Naruto? Is everyone else just a step in your glorious story?"

[More silence. It is crushing her. Her voice drops, lowers, pleads. She tries to explain. _Tries and tries and tries._ To be patient. To be understanding. To make up for her yelling. He won't look at her. He won't _look_ at her anymore. That little crease in his brow the way he's starting to lose weight again – the things that keep his eyes from looking anywhere but where they need to be.]

"Naruto…"

[She is sorry. If he would just listen. If he would just _tell_ her what's wrong, she could help him. She understands that he needs to be _something_ but he is already more than something to her. He can't see it. Why can't he see it like she can?]

"Naruto, you _promised_ you would be there for his commendation – after you signed off as his teacher for that stupid assignment, Naruto, _Naruto_ _look at me, _he was devastated! You keep doing this! First there was my teaching certification and Neji's ceremony and all the other ones that you keep ignoring! Naruto there are some things in life more important than our jobs!"

[He opens his mouth, staring at her. He can't believe she says that. After everything. After _everything_ he's been through.]

"I am trying to get recognition – I am TRYING TO BE SOMEBODY!" [His hand digs into his chest, prodding the thick muscle and the beating heart and everything he is. Fisting his shirt. He grits his teeth and yells something incoherent.] "I'M JUST TRYING TO BE SOMEBODY! TO REACH MY DREAMS! I'VE WORKED SO HARD, SO _HARD_ HINATA TO GET THERE. EVERY DAY I HAVE TO MAKE THIS GRUELING CLIMB TO THE TOP. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY THAT I CAN'T EVER ACHIEVE ANYTHING WITHOUT SOMEBODY HAVING SOME KIND OF PROBLEM WITH IT!"

[Her lip quivers.]

"Do you hear yourself? Is that all – after everything I have sacrificed for you …so that you could do everything you wanted…is that all I am Naruto? A person with a problem? WHAT AM I?"

[He looks away.]

"Naruto? NARUTO? What is this? WHAT IS THIS THAT I'M DOING? Why can't you just think of someone else for one second – why can't you just stop seeing only you! NARUTO? NARUTO ANSWER ME!"

[Silence.]

"Naruto, I can't do this anymore! You're forgetting…you're forgetting what's really important…"

[The wife crumbles into more tears – it's like she can't breathe anymore.]

"Maybe you should have just listened to your Father. Maybe you are too good for me."

[The Husband's footsteps echo in the hallway with her cries.]

[The bedroom door slams shut.]

[Scene.]

* * *

**How do you think they'll make up?**

**:'D**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	19. Act Two

**Sunbeams**

95. Vulnerable

_Sum_: It was a comforting similarity.

[She doesn't know what to do, so she cooks.]

[Steaming dumplings, heavy bowls of stew, bright vegetables simmering in her pan, poked cautiously until poured onto another plate.]

[The house smells rich and warm. Her stomach twists as she inhales and sets the table for two. She eats silently, business as usual. It has to be. She'll break if it isn't.]

[She clears her dishes away, soaks the contents of her pan.]

[She picks up an empty bowl – a housewarming gift from Iruka-sensei. The pad of her thumb wanders over the ceramic for a moment. The floorboard creaks and she turns, pinning The Husband down with her eyes.]

"It smells good."

[She nods and sets the bowl gently in the cradling embrace of its twin in the cupboard.]

[The Husband sits.]

[The Husband eats a little. Pushes his plate away and stands, bringing the remains of his supper.]

"Do you want to go lie down? I can clean up."

[Hinata doesn't know what to say. She stares at him and then looks at the sink. He walks to it, turns on the water. She sees his back, the stiff muscles, the way he's used to doing his own dishes.]

"I don't feel sorry for you."

[Naruto stops rubbing the bowl and stares at his soapy hands, the hot water still steaming in the sink. Hinata wraps her hands around herself, fresh tears already poised to fall.]

"I never felt sorry for you. Even when everyone was against you – when you were alone…I never did!" [She chokes.]

[Naruto turns the tap off, watching the water swirl into the drain in a whirpool. He suddenly feels caught.]

"I knew you could do it yourself. You could reach everything yourself – if you wanted to."

[He finally turns around and she's smiling at him through her tears, grinning despite the pain.]

"But you didn't want to. You didn't…you…you wanted me to be by your side. So I felt honored."

[Her voice is teetering on the edge, ready to shatter. Another tear tracks her face, a silver path in the dim lighting.]

"I was so happy! So happy that you wanted me to be with you! To help you – to support you!"

[The Husband looks at his wife as she stands with arms folded across her, every ounce of sincerity she has concentrated on someone who said horrible things, who forgets the importance she holds, who takes her for granted. Her smile snaps at the corners of her mouth and she holds back as best she can.]

"Ngh…"

[Her wrists press into her eyes as she lets out a cry. It is breathy and hissing like air that has been held in too long.]

"Please don't reject me…please don't reject me anymore! I can't take it!"

[Naruto swallows. He doesn't want to admit he's wrong. He hates it. But for her – for her he will. She has done _so_ much. There is a scar on her shoulder, and another on her back – a gentle curve, like someone had traced the skin with a pin until it raised away from her skin. These intimate places he knows – he's kissed each one of her fragile fingers, pressed his head against the shoulders that now tremble before him.]

"I'm afraid."

[The Wife looks up at her strong Husband. He is squinting at her, some kind of shameful smile on his face.]

"I'm afraid that you will regret what you've done for me."

[She looks at him incredulously, her expression softening. She sniffles and touches his neck.]

"Do you really think that little of me?"

"No."

[She shakes her head at him. Arms wind around her. She strokes his hair as he breathes against her collarbone, stooped down.]

"Naruto-kun…you are like a child."

"I'm so sorry."

[His apology is whispered – like a little boy. She holds him; standing in the kitchen, her strong Husband who will one day be a Strong Hokage, is still a little boy at heart who does not understand how to let her care for him.]

"I know it is hard to be with me. I don't understand how to be with someone else like this…I was alone so long…"

[Her breath traces the edge of his ear as he speaks.]

"But I'm trying."

"Me too."

[The orphan in her understands.]

[Fin]

* * *

** I am alive.**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	20. First Steps

**Sunbeams**

35. Love

_Sum_: It was her favorite disappointment.

Hinata didn't remember the fireworks from that festival.  
The small wooden bench was directly in front of the river, giving a perfect view, but she doesn't remember the bursts of color or the fizz and pops of the rockets.

She always figured that _this_ moment, this one fantastical thing she had perhaps dreamed of at one time or another, would ignite itself in drama and romance.

But it didn't.

There was no overwhelming heartbeat, no sudden increase of her breathing or the gasp of air, even the light headedness she would have figured. The world was unnaturally silent though, if that was enough of an indication that it was playing witness to something special. The swirls of light, the lanterns, the people passing into one another and melting into their own laughter and awe, the cries of the crowd at the showers of flower-shaped light raining over the river, the children running and weaving through the spectator's legs, shrieking with the anticipation of more festivity – all of it was inaudible, all of it was blurry and slow.

They didn't touch each other save for that one place; Hinata's hands were planted in her lap, fingers grasping the smooth sandalwood of her fan's handle. There was no surge of adrenaline. No explosion of life in her, no burning fire of engulfing exhilaration.

A firework scattered into the sky, booming into the hot summer air. Cicada's quieted and then began again, humming into the trees with their vibrating roar.

Hinata opened her eyes, met with Naruto's and an insignificant separation. He didn't say anything, but slowly, deliberately leaned in once more.

And again.  
And again.  
And again.

Hinata didn't shriek or blush.  
She didn't greedily grasp him, nor did he her.

They didn't pant or stir each other's blood into a boil.  
There was no shocking revelation, no sudden epiphany of adoration.

Just a change, a subtle, beautiful shift, like the rims of the spokes of the blooming pinwheels of fire; that slight differentiation between the darkness of the night around them and the intrusion of life-giving light.

When Naruto kissed her, it was as boring as breathing or blinking, as repetitive and comfortable as her own reflex.

A flash and another rain of red or gold or pink illuminated them on the bench, behind the crowd.  
It illuminated their bodies and then sank back into comfortable darkness before another cast a bright shadow.

Hinata felt it. She felt it for the first time in her life and she knew Naruto did too – and both thought they had understood it and known it, but both of them were so wrong. It wasn't dramatic.

It was so small, so unnoticeable, so barely present that its appearance transformed everything – that was the unbelievable part, the distracting part, the shocking part. The absence of everything she had at once expected in favor of _this_. A wondrous thing, this thing that neither inflamed or drowned her but was so incredibly _right_.

This thing which was nothing more but the almost ordinary entry of love.

* * *

**Their's is so precious - and I believe - so simple.**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	21. Empty Vessels

**Sunbeams**

56. Mother

_Sum_: It was so unforgiving

Naruto walks into the house – it is very still and the cat is mewling and rubbing herself against the furniture. He raises his eyebrows at her and shrugs off his training vest and shoes.

"Where's Kaa-san?" He asks loudly, expecting the obvious answer from the kitchen – but there isn't anything.

"Hinata?" He asks again, halfway through his left shoe. His brow furrows at the resounding quiet and the cat mewls again before darting down the hallway and into the bedroom.

He steps up and walks slowly to the kitchen, peering around the door in interest.

"Hinata?" The repetition is greeted by a kitchen left in disarray; a pot on the stove is boiling and hissing and about to go over, but he is there to turn the burner off in time. Vegetables of no particular kind litter the counters, left forgotten: one has a knife standing up out of it mid-cut.

"Hinata?" More frantic this time as he backs out of the kitchen, suddenly worried. He passes by the patio door and realizes that she's there and the sliding door is half pulled back. Shoving it to the side he walks briskly onto the porch to where she sits, her head leaning against one of the wooden beams supporting the roof.

"Hina, there's a pot on the stove, did you forget?" He stands behind her but finds no response, just the slight movement of her head towards him, but not turning fully around.

"Hina?" He asks again, cautiously stepping forward, "Baby there was a pot and it was almost boiling over – are you okay…?"

She doesn't move.

"Its gone." She whispers.

Naruto blinks at her and moves around to see her face. She doesn't acknowledge him, staring straight ahead, a small wad of cloth in her hands, balled on her lap.

"Sweetheart?"

She flinches, a brief shudder. Her fists enclose further over the small ball of fabric in her white fingers.

"Its gone…I lost it." She whispers once more, and then with no more provocation her mouth opens and then closes.

"The baby. I lost the baby."

Naruto doesn't say anything – he is stunned into the silence as the two of them stare at the grass beyond the porch. Her shaking fingers unfurl the small soft infant wash cloth and then condense it, over and over. Crushing.

"Its gone. They said there was something w-wrong…" She repeats, and Naruto watches the tears that are now falling fast down her cheeks, or the way her face is contorting into a kind of agony he's seen too many times before, silencing her words, hand coming over her stomach, fisting the fabric.

"Hinata – !" He cries out suddenly, dropping to his knees. Arms wind around her, suffocating and warm and heavy. "Hinata, this happens – this happens e-every day." He tightens, trying not to let the emotion creep in, but its there and he can't stop it.

"It happens all the time and people…baby this isn't the end. This isn't the end, okay baby? Promise me, _promise_ me you won't give up…don't give up again…we'll try. We'll keep trying."

His words become lost in his head, and she isn't really listening to him the way she knows she ought to. She should feel comforted, she should feel justified. It wasn't supposed to happen again. It wasn't.

She wants to beat him off of her, to shrug his arms off of her, but she can't because she's such an ungrateful, selfish person.

She can't be a good wife, she can't provide. She's empty. But he still loves her and she is so greedy it disgusts her, but he is all she has and she loves him. _Kami-sama, she loves him._

They told her that it wouldn't happen this time. They did everything. Followed everything.  
She did _everything_.

It was going to work. They were going to be a family. She would get better, she would be happy again. She wouldn't cry at dinner or at night. She wouldn't look away from him, ashamed; pull away from his embraces and the needy grasp of his hands. She was going to smile again. She wouldn't make him worry anymore.

"_Hina-chan, smile for me…just a little one…"_

And those times that she could be convinced, but they weren't passionate, but instead so filled with an ache in her body. He would hold her and she would hold back, but it would be the hold of a dying person – the last tie to the earth. She would kiss him so desperately and he would kiss back, and later in the night, her naked body under him, both spent, she would sob into her hands and roll over, away from him.

Once, he was angry.

"_ALL SHE WANTS IS ONE! JUST GIVE HER THIS ONE THING! DAMMIT! DOESN'T SHE DESERVE IT?" _  
She was sitting at the table as he shouted over the thunder after the second baby came, full term, and was so still. He knocked over a plate, it shattering on the floor.

She had apologized and he'd held her and told her violently not to.

It wasn't supposed to be this way – so she should be able to believe him.

But she can't, because this is too real – it's too real and the feeling in her chest is so awful, and she still can't believe it, just like she'll never believe it. The first time. The second time. Now. Every time she can't give it to him. She feels insignificant, she feels betrayed by her own body.

_Disgusting._ _Weak. Useless._

She can't breathe.  
She sobs instead, because who is he to think he understands?

Her body latches to him, the wails racking her body.

"Hinata, we won't give up. This isn't the end."

She lets him hold her above the waves, too afraid if her head goes down she'll never come back up.

"I'm too weak…I'm too weak!" She cries into his sleeve.

Always too weak, to be anything – even a mother.

* * *

**Q-Q  
I will write something more uplifting soon, for Naru-chan's birthday.**

**R and R,**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	22. Birthday Cake

**For Onihikage~  
(something warm and fuzzy)**

**Sunbeams**

2. Happy  
_Sum_: Of course he would be.

October wasn't the best time to have a birthday. Autumnal rain pelted the tin roofs of the buildings and swamped the dusty roads with mud. Children were cooped up inside school, making for empty streets and other than the sound of the distant thunder, a quiet city.

If the weather was dreary enough people would close up shop early, knowing that patrons wouldn't be out and about. It was reading weather, for some, like Shikamaru it was shogi weather. For others like Sakura it was sick weather and she was practically overrun by patients down at the clinic all with their coughs and complaints.

So it wasn't a very large surprise that Naruto wasn't having the _greatest_ day when his birthday rolled around. He had wanted to go to Ichiraku with Iruka – it was closed due to the inclement weather. Thunder thrashed in the clouds and lightning sparked around the streets. Kakashi tried to cheer him up, but surrounded by mountains of paperwork for his aptitude tests, Naruto proved to be a hard case.

"Why don't you just go home Naruto. You can finish all this later, can't you?"

Naruto had shrugged and sighed in response to his former sensei's rather appealing idea.

"Hinata won't be home for another hour or two – school doesn't let out until, what? Four? No use going home to an empty apartment."

Kakashi nodded in understanding.

"Ah, I see, you have big plans tonight?" He said suggestively and Naruto blushed, glaring at the man who was very conveniently searching for something by the little room's coffee maker.

"No." Naruto huffed, before sinking into the old, rickety chair with another exhale. "I've been too tired to do much celebrating." He continued softly, "Hina understands, so I doubt she did anything out of the ordinary."

Kakashi gazed at his former pupil and smirked beneath his mask. Naruto still didn't understand how Hinata thought about him – maybe tonight would finally knock it into that thick, brilliant, head of his that his fiancée was a little more than just another girl.

"Well, anyway, when four rolls around you should go. Sensei's orders." Kakashi replied shortly, stirring his coffee and propping his feet up on the table Naruto was working on. Naruto rolled his eyes and issued some complaint about his dumb teacher, to which Kakashi said nothing. The conversation began to bubble around them, influenced by the sleepy sound of the slackening rain and the space heater that made the room too comfortable to ignore.

By the time they realized they'd been talking for so long, it was already a quarter to five.

"Well, I'll see you later Kakashi-Sensei. Thanks for cheering me up and giving me a distraction." Naruto rubbed his forehead appropriately, "These ANBU aptitude tests are killing me!"

Kakashi chuckled.  
"I know. They based half of them off of my scores."

Sticking out his tongue, Naruto left the room, pausing in the doorway to lift his hand in farewell.

He ambled along the streets, not bothering to do anything out of the ordinary. He said hello to the typical people he saw on his walks home, the rain flecking his clothes as it lightly drizzled, clouds re-collecting for another late night storm.

He was almost 23 – and yet he felt so _old_. Smirking to himself he continued on, rounding a few alleys to make a short distance out of his usual multiple-block trip. His step slowed further as he approached the towering apartment building where he and Hinata called home. As usual he stopped at the corner and searched for the fourth story window, third from the right. The window was closed up tight. He sighed, seeing his breath pillow into the chilled air. Faint light was under the sill, spreading out from the building.

With a shake of his wet head he opened the door to the apartment and began the long four-flight climb.

A little winded from his melancholy and the trek home, he unlocked the door and nudged it open, kicking his boots on the mat. He heard the sound of a spoon scraping a wok and had to smile at the aroma filtering through the small flat and into his head. His heart rate increased a slight amount as he fished for his slippers in a lazy manner, shrugging off his jacket to reveal the durable t-shirt underneath.

"Tadaima!" He said loudly, kicking the door shut all the way and latching it.

"Hold On!" He heard Hinata shout, and so he did, pausing mid-way between the mudroom and the rest of their home. He raised his eyes to the ceiling, silently counting the seconds before he heard Hinata's feet padding on the wood floors.

"Welcome home Otou-san!" She chirped and Naruto redirected his gaze to Hinata holding the newest addition to their house with a look of complete excitement on her flawless face.

Naruto blanched at the cat who eyed him warily from Hinata's embrace.

"Otou-san, really?" Naruto breathed wearily, trying not to be intimidated by the cat's beady gaze. "I'm not _that_ old."

He walked passed Hinata and into the kitchen, going all the way through the kitchen to the shut door of the bedroom. Hinata turned, watching him before her brow furrowed. She gently set the cat down and checked on a pot of food before hurrying to the bedroom after him.

"Naruto?" She asked, peeking in. Naruto was lying in the middle of the floor, arms over his eyes.

"Hmm?" He grunted in response. Hinata blinked at him and then dropped to her knees, tugging insistently at his clothes.

"Ne, Naru-kun, I made your favorites! There's even red bean cakes for dessert~" She prodded, receiving no real reaction. Hinata let her fingers curl limply in the folds of his shirt. "Naruto, I'm sorry I called you 'Otou-san'." She started hesitantly, "I was just excited because of Mimi." Naruto internally rolled his eyes at the mentioning of the surly cat waiting in the kitchen, probably curled by the radiator, her plush body asleep but her mind plotting his demise.

One eye peeked open from between his heavy arms, searching Hinata's face. She was flushed with her own silliness. Naruto couldn't help but melt at that look. It was one he had come to treasure, and also one he'd had to get used to. Hinata's spirit was kindled by his own and had blossomed into something he'd never dreamed. Sure she was still shy, but rarely with him anymore. Instead she was eager and excitable always chattering or giggling at him.

She wanted to please him so badly sometimes it was ridiculous, but today, he was obliged to it.

He removed his arms completely and motioned for her to lay down with him. He laced his fingers over her back, letting her wiggle nearer to his chest, still watching him intently.

"Was today good?" She insisted and Naruto shrugged, kissing her cheek.

"It was boring." He said honestly, kissing her other cheek. She objected slightly, pushing his face away, still trying to talk.

"You say, 'How was mine' Naruto." She persisted, gazing at him surely. He licked his lips and yawned a little.

"How was your day, Hina-chan?" He asked sleepily, the rain now pattering heavily. It was so nice and dim in their little home. Naruto understood why Kakashi had urged him to leave now – because this was probably the best place to be, even if it was awful outside.

"Busy. I was worrying about the rain and what to cook." Hinata replied, she too succumbing to the dull roar of the weather outside. "I'm sorry it rained. I know you probably had plans."

"It's alright." He soothed, welcoming her head on his collar bone.

"Mimi~" She cooed as the cat padded in, darting into Hinata's outstretched hand, rubbing her body against it. Naruto stuck out his tongue at the cat that seemed to grin as Hinata rolled off of Naruto, snuggling up with the kitten, kissing its head. She sat up and held the cat to her chest, standing.

"Time to eat, ne?" She asked the cat. Naruto sat up too, following Hinata to the kitchen where she put two little pieces of fish on the floor for Mimi and then served a plate for Naruto, who was now seated at the table, waiting patiently.

"Happy Birthday!" She said, setting the food down. Naruto watched the domestic action and then noticed that she had let her hair down and was wearing one of the old training sweatshirts from when he was going through his Jonin Exams. She noticed his blank stare and took his face gently in her hands.

"Thank you Kushina-san." Her voice resounded in Naruto's ears as she kissed him on the lips and then on the nose, "Thank you for such a wonderful son."

Naruto tickled her gently as she hugged him and then they both sat and ate together in their little apartment. Mimi was quieted and was indeed curled against the radiator, her little fat stomach rising and falling with each breath.

"HappyBirthday to me." Naruto concluded with a smile, watching Hinata scramble for his present, excitedly placing it on the table.

A Frog Clock.  
Naruto laughed.

Maybe October was alright after all.

* * *

**To make up for my sad last one, this very cozy one :**

**I hope you enjoyed it and its blatant references to Moonstruck 3**

**xoxo,  
Spoons**


	23. Deep Breaths

**I am sorry that mango-chan can't stop writing these stupid things.**  
**They are basically all the same, so I am sorry if you are bored with me... OTZ**

**What should I write about next?**  
**xoxo,**  
**Spoons****

* * *

**

**Sunbeams**

97. Heaven

_Sum_: close enough to touch.

Standing in the kitchen on an ordinary Monday, dancing to some strange new song from far away, watching his head fall back and his mouth open and all the words in the world tumble out in no particular order, belting just for her.

Eating dumplings with their fingers over the sink, crowded between the cramped counter tops, letting him lean against her while she read, curled on the futon. Kissing his head as he sighs in his sleep, blonde hair tickling her cheek.

Dog-earing the page because he insisted she lay on his stomach, head on his chest.

Summer days in the garden, him lazily stretching and smoothly shifting into his meditation poses; her hands busy fussing with the garden spigot to fill her watering can, the gentle sway of irises and herbs and the twitter of birds.

Autumn breezes when he pops into the academy to see her busy with her little ones, crouching on the ground talking softly, nursing a skinned knee, looking up in surprise at his face, hand still cradling some little girl's. The mounds of papers, colored drawings, small handwritings, basic drawings of kunai and shuriken, hand-signs placed in order, cut and pasted, marked with a tender hand and smiley faces after every grade. She is beloved sensei, she is the one they cling to and she waves to every day before they travel home in pairs and threes, with parents and with friends.

New Years, Sora's first. Homemade cakes and Naruto teaching with rough hands how to fold the origami cranes they hang from the doorframe. Listening to the radio as snow thinly veils the windows and Hinata presents the duck and they raise their hands in celebration. The lonely tears later when Sora is asleep under the kotatsu and Naruto strokes Hinata's hair as she whispers.

"Happy New Year Hanabi-chan. . ."

Those ordinary Monday's when his bento is tucked with a note that tells him to 'do his best!', the promises to be home on time for dinner, the flowers he picks up on his way. The small puckers of his uniforms and shirts where she has carefully mended before she falls asleep, him snoring next to her, in the soft lamp light.

Those ordinary Mondays, side by side at the table, drinking warm sake and listening to the animated tales he weaves for her, the kitten curled in her lap, squirming every now and then.

Heaven, close enough to touch.


	24. Six Fifteen

**Hi loves!  
Hope you have all  
had safe Turkey Days  
and school holidays~  
**

******Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Sunbeams**

57. Father

_Sum:_ Germinating, a tiny seed under bright lights, blinking.

"Push Hinata! _One more! _PUUSH!"

Hinata bit back the sob as she squinched her eyes shut, fighting the urge to arch her back off the mattress. She was so tired; everything ached. She panted, trying to be strong, but it was proving difficult

She never would of thought she'd need him then, but she did. She needed him to be in her face, yelling at her to move.

_Dammit Hinata, don't you dare give up! Don't you dare give up now!_

She yelped again, her legs trembling as she heard the words, maybe in her head, maybe Sakura had said them. Either was plausible. She bit her lip, but it didn't stop the pain as she exhaled more hair, thrusting her chin forward with all she had left.

"Ha! HA!" She cried out, sweat plastering the hair to her forehead, squeezing Tenten's arm with everything she had. Her fingers fought for purchase on the bed sheets and then the railings, gripping the cold steel in her steaming palm. The agony continued but she clenched her teeth, waiting, until finally she felt the release and the tightened coils of every muscle sprung back, emptying their burdens into Sakura's arms.

"YES!" The woman exclaimed, a nurse moving in to assist her. Hinata hyperventilated her eyes wide and blurred. She caught sight of Tenten's face and tried to focus on it, her chest rising rapidly.

"Breathe Hina, breathe, it's okay now…" Tenten said, her voice thick with tears as she felt Hinata's muscles unhinge from their manic grip on her wrist.

Sakura couldn't contain her grin as the cries began to fill the room. She almost shouted with happiness, checking for any abnormalities in a first glance, so relieved that there was _noise_ beautiful _noise_ surrounding them.

"It's a boy!" The pinkette practically shouted, bending to cradle the treasure to her.

She locked eyes with Hinata and the young woman seemed frozen in a state of disbelief, but then, as if by some reflex, her face contorted in tears as Sakura raised the squirming, screaming mass, purply and bristled. His little hands were curled into frustrated fists and he thrashed his head. His dark hair was matted to him and he opened his mouth in huge gasping fits, sucking in the hospital air as Sakura turned to the observation window where Kakashi was standing. She held up the child who squirmed and wailed and Kakashi, she swore, put a hand on his face, his smile twitching under his mask, to hide his cloudy eyes. Sasuke's mouth pulled gently and he lifted a finger to point at the baby through the window, talking in hushed tones to Haru who was hugging his Father's neck, wide-eyed.

Hinata had no words as they loosely cocooned the wailing infant and wiped the excess from his now rosy face. The tears just continued to stream down her cheeks, mingling with the sweat and the exhausted, twitching muscles. Sakura took the corner of the cloth and mopped the baby with it and then eased the keening creature into Hinata's trembling arms. Sakura clamped Hinata's spasming fingers onto the blanket, cradling the baby in her heavy arms. Hinata finally let her throat unglue, the strangled sound coming out of her lips, past her twisting tongue.

"Oh Hinata, he's gorgeous – God he looks just like your Father…" Hinata couldn't respond when Tenten gently stroked the baby's hair, and they both were seemingly deaf to the sounds of Tetsuya racing towards the bed, having opened the door on his own, Neji blushing behind him, telling his son that the room was no place for a man, let alone a little boy.

"Ototo!" Tetsuya shouted, looking at the still crying mass in Hinata's arms. Tenten laughed, leading her son away by the hand.

"That's right, you need to take care of him just like a good Nii-san, you hear? Now come on…"

The voices evaporated, muffled by the thump of the pulse in Hinata's head. She stroked the baby's cheek tenderly.

"Kiyoshi…baby, don't worry any longer…it's alright now, we are here… " She murmured, kissing him gently, her own tears still flowing freely.

After years and years, she finally met him. Nine months and seven days. Four years. A lifetime of dreams. He continued to cry with her as she pressed her forehead to his, grasping him with all the strength she had left. She could have exploded with the love she felt bursting forth into her, the ancient, sleeping love she had remembered like the fragments of some far off fantasy.

Finally. _Finally_.

His eyes were milky lavender and blinking with tears, his face squinched, that dark unruly hair already refusing to stay in place despite her pale fingers brushing it forwards across his wrinkled forehead.

"Kiyoshi…my beautiful Kiyoshi…I waited for you for so long…" She whispered hotly into velvety skin, "…we waited so long to meet you Kiyoshi…we waited so long to meet you…"

She cried and cried over the baby as he subdued, reducing his shattering screaming into whimpers and finally the silence of his exhausted sleep.

* * *

"Naruto-sama!" The young Sand-shinobi said, bursting in on the young man who was sitting in front of Gaara's desk, having lunch. Naruto craned his head, meeting the panting nin with a shocked expression.

"N- Naruto-sama – " the chunin gasped, " – six fifteen this morning, it's a boy!"

Naruto's chair went tumbling to the ground as he shot up out of it, his eyes wide, mouth unhinged. He turned to Gaara who said nothing, just as shocked.

Naruto staggered backwards and began to laugh until the tears wet his face, making it gleam.

He laughed until he couldn't any longer and fell to his knees, overcome by the dizzying joy, flooded by relief after hours and days of expectant, anxious waiting.

He was there.  
Alive and healthy.

He was there and he would greet him.

He would hold the first blood relative – the first thing that was so foreign and different from anyone else on the planet, someone he had a connection forged in something stronger than the bonds of memories or friendship. A bond that couldn't be erased by time or death, a bond that would, when he held him for that first time, wrap its small hand around his smallest finger and then securely around his heart forever.

A son.

At six fifteen that morning, he was the Father to a precious son.

* * *

**What would you like for Christmas from Spoons-san?**  
**Ideas for a Holiday Drabble are welcomed!**

**Till next time**  
**xoxo,**  
**Spoons**


	25. Thank You

For all my beloveds:  
I don't think I ever tell you guys enough how much your words have made these past years bearable. From a struggling kid to what I guess I could call a 'writer', you have encouraged me with your words and with all the beautiful meaningful things you have given me. Thank you.

These years have been very difficult; I've muddled through severe depression and anxiety, both cases leaving me pretty much crippled in social situations. Trust was so hard to find and I couldn't make myself see how precious a person I was and could be to others. I didn't get very physical with this depression, thank God. I pray every day for those who suffer with their feelings and the lack of control that they can have and I hope that I can do whatever I can to heal anyone with these kinds of problems.

Don't ever doubt that you've played a part in my recover y – each beautiful, reassuring, word I've ever received has pulled me inch by inch out of the darkness. Because of you guys I can order food at a restaurant without getting so worried I throw up; because of you, my darlings, I am able to speak properly and I don't have to sleep all the time and waste away the beautiful opportunities I have been blessed with. I don't have to worry because I _know_ that there are people in the world that don't even know me, but they have shared some kind, amazing words with me. They don't shun me or discourage me, or judge me. They accept me and praise me and think that the humble things I have to offer (that truly, can be so mediocre) are worth receiving.

I can't thank you enough for giving me the courage and the strength to push past the thoughts I used to have – the frightening things I thought about when I was laying in bed. I used to think about who would miss me and if it would just be better if I died, but do you know why I always seemed to update past midnight?

Well, for one thing, as you know, your spoons-san has always had bad cases of word-vomit, but also because at those times I would always want to make you guys happy so I would update and throw myself into my words. I share a lot of empathy for Hinata and for Naruto, for the rejection they felt and the invisibility they faced and the way they seemed to be able to push past that. Writing Moonstruck, was in its own way, my personal plea to push through the things I thought were impossible.

New chapters of my life are beginning now. I am extremely excited to be starting them – to live my life and be the best person I can be. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of things in my life that are hurtful and make me sad. My Father and is separating from my Mother, leaving my younger brother alone (I am old enough to take care of myself). He has declared that while parenting was a fun hobby, he has decided there are more important things to him – like buying cars and moving away and getting a new girl friend – than being a part of our family.

It has made me feel very rejected and abandoned, but I am not giving up this time.  
I have so much strength and courage that I can face this and be strong.

Thank you so much for being my faithful friends and sticking with me. One day I will write a beautiful story and dedicate it to all of you and you can cherish its words, because they will be able to say what it is I want to say. For now I will write when my heart can take the effort – these emotional times are very trying, so please support my efforts, however little they may be.

After the holidays I will probably be cleaning out some of the clutter – Moonstruck and Sunbeams will still be up, as well as Crybaby! And Once Upon a Maybe, but the rest will most likely be deleted. I want to start fresh and be new again so that I can devote my time properly.

Until then, I will be updating this Saturday and then taking a hiatus until February at the earlist – though it may last longer; I have many feelings that need to be sorted out and issues in my home that I need to deal with. They are very painful and I am having trouble, but I will face them with all my strength.

Thank you so much for everything, even if you do not believe me or understand, just know that I am always grateful to the sweet anonymous faces that I can interact with.

If you ever wish to talk with me regularly, like my friend Perpetual, I am starting back up some correspondences with friends online. You can reach me at mangospoons(at gmail dot com) or petiteroux(at gmail dot com). I love friends and would be delighted to share with you my experiences if you have questions or even wish to ask advice or need someone to talk to.

I believe in my heart, and with my entire sincerity wish to tell you, as I will always tell you, because I believe too that you will completely understand:

May we always walk forward and continue climbing together towards the bright future, glowing like the sun.

Hand and hand, let us keep on walking towards the next days – may they always be warm and be full, no matter how cold the journey.

Love,  
Hannah


	26. Cold Fronts

**Sunbeams**

72. Snow

_Sum:_ Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments,  
embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour

72. Snow

"It's snowing!" Hinata turns around in the kitchen, and smiles in surprise as Sora bursts through the side door, chest heaving, a tattered scarf strung over his head and around his neck. His red cheeks are burning with his grin as he tracks little puddles inside. Kiyoshi jumps up, excitable and five years old, his eyes wide.

"No way! No way!" He shouts, already buzzing, and Hinata sighs, and glances out the window. It is snowing; a thin layer of grayish-white on the window sill and covering the trees. She chuckles to herself, remembering when she was little and it had snowed too. Such a startling thing it had been, that snow, some strange transformation of Konoha she had not understood but was so eager to explore.

"Yes _way_!" Sora says sagely, bumping Kiyoshi's head with a wrapped hand, to which Kiyoshi rubs his forehead but continues to stare up at his sempai, awed and startled by the news. Lost in thought, Hinata awakens to reality as insistent hands pull on her apron.

"Mama! Mama, can I go out? Can I go out and play in the snow?" Hinata blinks at Kiyoshi's wide eyes and thinks for a moment.

"Of course – " They are already running but she stops his chubby arm, " – but Kiyo-kun must put on his winter clothes!" She scolds gently, steering her son towards his bedroom where with a playful swat to his bottom he goes off, rummaging through his toys and clothes, Sora ambling behind to assist.

He emerges a moment later, dressed in what she deems satisfactory. Wool Poncho. Mittens. Boots. She pinches their cheeks and pushes them out into the yard to play before returning to her dishes and her laundry and her cooking. The afternoon grows and the snow piles, sticking in a rare and precious blanket of white that covers the boot-prints in the gardens, her flowers and bushes covered by linen cloth to protect from the frost. It isn't until the sun begins to peak behind the trees that the door to the porch slides open, wooden frame rattling and she sees Kiyoshi peering at her.

"Mama?" He asks shyly and Hinata glances at him from her cup of tea and novel. She quickly hides the letter from his Father back into the covers, closing the book quickly. Kiyoshi tilts his head at her. "Why don't you come out and play in the snow?" He probes and Hinata's mouth quirks into a strange smile.

"What Kiyo-kun?"

"Is it because you miss Chi-Chi?" Hinata hesitates, the letter's edge biting into her finger.

"Yes. I miss Chi-chi a lot. I want him to be home for New Years with us!" She quips the end of the phrase quickly so that it won't break. He nods to himself.

"I miss Chi-Chi too. I like to draw pictures of him…like the things he says in his stories!" Hinata has to laugh at the idea of his stories; Naruto's letters to his son were something of a legend to the other children. Specific tales written out to make the diplomatic work become something amazing and to ease the pains of having a Hokage for a Father in a world still licking its wounds.

Peace was difficult, as they'd all discovered, and the past three months had been better spent in the more distant countries, persuading leaders and guiding the still rather unsteady governments.

Nonetheless, the letters are read each night out loud as instructed, before he goes to sleep.

"I think Chi-Chi would love to see all those drawings!" She encourages to her son's embarrassment.

He blushes and she could have cried at the sight – so familiar that flush! It's a good distraction from the still frail hope that he'll actually _be_ home by New Years – it's two days away and still she relentlessly gives in to the notion that he'll just show up out of nowhere, as usual, without any hitches. No snowed-out rodes, no random ambush, no broken equipment or injuries…

Kiyoshi watches his mother start to worry and springs forward, putting his icy fingers on her shoulder

"Mama should come out and play in the snow too! We made snow people on the wall! She should come see!" Hinata feels her head pounding a little. It's been a long time since anyone asked _her_ to play. The other children were always too put-off by her quietness to ask. Her years of being invisible…her hand extends like its being tugged by strings and her little son takes it.

She fumbles into her garden boots and some-sort of coat, but other than that she isn't wearing much to brace her from the cold. Holding the shawl to her she walks, guided by Kiyoshi to where Sora triumphantly displays the caricatures of herself; the dead-leaf hair and smile carved with a stick broken into several pieces. Kiyoshi is a smaller blob with a pebbled smile, Sora a little taller with dried grass stuck to the top of his head in a strange mirroring of his hair, and scraped together with the leftovers is Mimi-tan, the grumpy fat cat sleeping under the bed. Hinata laughs at it, tickled.

"Uwahh!" She says, exaggerating her excitement, "So cool!" She laughs at the little people arranged on her garden wall, pulling first Kiyoshi in for a few smeared kisses and then Sora for a struggling one on his hair, laughing. The snow falls into her hair and melts, leaving it damp, the dying sunlight reflecting off her pearly eyes. She stares at the wall and its occupants, Kiyoshi wound around her arm, head on her hip.

"Where is Naruto-kun?" She asks, stepping forward to observe the empty space.

"Eh…we thought you could make Sensei. Since you know him best." Sora explains and Hinata blinks before bending to gather the cold slush into her hands. The malformed ball is placed beside the others and she slowly sculpts it into the strange semblance of a body, the two boys helping her as well by offering advice. Before she knows it there he is, with pine-needle whiskers and a foxy grin, standing beside his snow wife. She taps the little head into place a little and smiles, her red finger tracing the side of its white face. The sun has gone down and she is freezing.

"Come on Hina-san…" Sora pulls her around and she smiles as Kiyoshi begins to go inside too, looking over his shoulder at what she assumes are the snow people.

"A pretty good looking snow-guy you got there! I'd say the handsomest I've ever seen…lucky bastard!"  
Hinata stops dead in her tracks, the glow from the warm house casting her shadow on the white yard.

"He stayed quiet _all that time_ Mama~! He said we had to surprise you!" Kiyoshi shrieks and Hinata is somehow rooted to the spot. Her mouth falls open and she whirls to see what she expects.

He's leaning against the wall, snow on his black clothes, laughing at her, eyes closed at his joke, at his ability to hide from her so well.

She drops Kiyoshi's hand and marches to him. She punches him lightly in the arm, face hidden by the darkness and her hair.

"Ah, Hina-chan you're face is very adorable!" He continues, giggling.

"Dummy!" She cries, "Dummy! You stay hidden when I – when I want to see you most! Dummy!"

He kisses her and Sora looks away disgusted, and Kiyoshi hides his eyes, unsure as he glimpses through his fingers his usually composed mother jump into his Father's embrace.

"Happy New Year Hinata-chan! I brought some good sake home too, if that makes you forgive me!" Naruto laughs and she shakes her head, breaking his words with a kiss of her own.

"Dummy!" She concludes, the snow still falling and the whole world something wonderful once more.

* * *

**Have safe and happy winters and a merry Christmas and wonderful New Years~**

**I will see you in the spring, strong and new and bright, I promise!**

xoxo,  
Spoons


	27. Forever

Thank you for all  
who stuck with me  
and supported me  
and loved me with all the  
fierceness and ability  
that you did.  
I cherish you all so much,  
but now things are changing,  
and it's not sad.  
It's a new beginning.  
You all taught me so much.  
Thank you, from the bottom  
of my heart.

I'll say good bye with a smile,  
because we had so much happiness!

xoxo, forever and always,  
Hannah

* * *

**Sunbeams**

Naruto never got his final wish.

Pneumonia when she was seventy-six. How he ever made it through the last four years without her was something he could not vouch for – he must have been sleep walking through at least half of it, he knew that much.

He had stayed in the house despite his daughter's insistence. He had listened to her, and he knew that he should, but he couldn't.

No. He couldn't leave it.

"Her flowers, Hana-chan…who will take care of them?" He'd asked Hana softly on the porch. She was badgering him to go; it was too big. He shouldn't be staying somewhere so _large_. He was becoming so good at lying to his daughter – it had taken years of persistent practice, but he was an actual expert by now. Her flowers were only part of it.

He would not speak of the long walks through the empty hallways, the trail of his hands on the wood of the walls. The beams of the house he had raised two children in with her. The garden, the kitchen, the feeling of her there with him in the cool shade of hot days and the warm sun through the screens, the little clock on the window sill that had seen a decade and more and kept ticking.

Their last moments replaying over and over in a lazy loop.

"_Naruto-kun…can you open the window?"  
_  
Her voice was so soft, but softer than it always had been. Weak. The last few weeks had been the most difficult. He waited on her with pleasure, but she grew more and more distant, staring out the window or sleeping, woken in fits of coughing that left her gasping for air. She smiled less, until that morning. She had seemed so peaceful with her request he couldn't have denied her.

He'd risen from his place by her bedside, stroking her hand to see her smile at him faintly, and her fingers twitching for a moment to grasp his.

"_I want to see the sun." _  
He smiled back, worry tainting it.

Her hand gently pulled from his own and he moved to the window, opening the curtains to let the sun stream in onto their bedroom, creeping onto the bedspread. He knew, before he turned around.

"_Arigatou, Naruto-kun…the sun feels so wonderful…_"

It was a simple thank you. So, why was his breath caught in his shallow lungs?

He whipped around, but it was too late. Her eyes were closed, gently against the curve of her cheeks, her silver hair wisped over the pillows, gently coming out of its long braid. She smiled in her sleep. A staggering step shuddered up under Naruto's feet as he went forward, stumbling to the bed.

"H-Hina?"

He was already sinking into the mattress, grabbing her arm. He could barely make the words come out, trapped in his mouth. The sun brought bright columns of dust with it, swirling. Her hand was folded onto her abdomen, on the quilt, snowy and delicate and traced by light-blue veins. Light piqued off of the wedding photo and the graduation portraits, off the framed letter from Tsunade (the last she'd ever send, wishing Naruto her best), off the bookcase and the slippers at the bedside. It glinted on amethyst hair pins halfway out of a wooden jewelry box, it soaked into the robes hanging out of the closet. The breeze ruffled the curtains, rippling the light over her face for a moment before settling.

Naruto felt his fingers sliding to her hands, holding them.

"Hina…?"

There was no response except the quiet. Surrounding quiet, enfolding him.

"…_Arigatou, Naruto-kun_…_the sun feels so wonderful…"_

Her breathless voice – a tear hit the back of his hand. He stared at her face, the gentle curve of her eyelash against her cheek. Another hot trail landed on the coverlet. His mouth was trembling as he felt the heaviness of her fingers in his own; he rubbed them, trying to keep the warmth for as long as possible before she became cold. He felt a laugh bubble to him, but the sound broke out oddly, like a cry.

"You didn't grant my wish, Hina. Don't you remember?" He asked her, still holding her hand firmly, "I wished to never have to go…to go without you…"

The silence consumed him. She wouldn't ever answer him, though he could easily imagine her reply. So calm, so steady. He bowed his head in shame, the tears coming faster. He would be grateful later that he was the one who beheld the precious moments of his wife's death – that he would be the one to hold her close.

"I am a shameless man…I am a selfish man." He whispered, "I gave you happiness, though, didn't I? We did well…we…we…we had a lot of happiness!"

His smile broke through his tears, wavering. He kissed her palm and pressed his cheek into the shallow dip of her knuckles.

"We will walk in the sun, again, so please wait patiently."

He had told her this in confidence, and so he could no leave her. Not yet, not until he was ready.

When he was, he was aware of himself only for a moment and then, like paper slipping from fingers in the wind, he was beyond himself. He felt completed, like he had reached the finish line after a lifetime of running.

It was nothing like he'd imagined it to be – death. It was like he had woken up from a deep sleep, or a dream. A wonderful dream. The place he was in was warm, and the leaves of trees above him shivered and shimmered with a breeze. It was green and bright and pleasant.

"Naruto-kun?" He looked up and she was standing two steps ahead of him. She smiled, her head tilting.

"Were you daydreaming? We have to go…but it's only a little further. Everyone's waiting!" She looked over her shoulder and he couldn't see her, but she waved to someone behind her.

"Everyone's waiting…?" His heart was swelling with joy and a nervous anticipation. Who? Who was waiting?

She blinked at him, and then her face gentled.

"They've waited for a long time Naruto-kun. We've all waited for a very long time, and we are so happy you're finally here, so we can all be together with you."

His head bowed. What if he was not what they…expected?

Her young hands, smooth and very young, like white, precious, ivory, came to either side of his warm, healthy, cheeks. She lifted his face to her, beaming, overcome by what appeared to be pride and so much love it was nearly palpable in the air.

"You are _so_ beloved, my precious, wonderful, Naruto-kun." She whispered to him fervently, "You are so _fiercely_ loved – you have nothing to fear. Nothing at all."

He hesitated, watching her hands retreat to hang before him in an offertory fashion. His eyes slid up her form. She was wearing a yukata and so was he, and the breeze was so inviting and there was something just ahead, he could barely see. She let her hands fall and came to him again, lifting his fingers into her own, pulling upwards. Her eyes shone with understanding.

"I'll be right by your side."

Their palms pressed together, fingers entwining. His worry shed from him and he took a step with her, in time. On the hill he could see the crowd, and all at once, he lifted his hand to wave at them, tears already falling.

The sun blinked over the horizon, warm and hot, full of promise, full of love, and full of hope.

_Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. _

Trey Parker


End file.
